Branden

Critics agree, @Branden is 'not very funny' and 'who?'

[Megan Amram @meganamram]

here's an abridged version of the full list of food puns i turned in with my first draft of tonight's #TheGoodPlace episode

[Branden @Branden]

When packing for a move, you really learn what you thought you needed a lot of. For example, I thought I would need to zip tie a small army

[Lynds Gallant @apocalynds]

Adult friendship = 2 people saying "I haven't seen you in forever! We should really hang out more" over and over again until one of you dies

[Sarah McCammon @sarahmccammon]

"The median American estimated that the CEO-to-worker pay-ratio was 30-to-1, and that ideally, it’d be 7-to-1. The reality? 354-to-1." https://t.co/RltmVatKgJ

[Conrad Hackett @conradhackett]

Income gains going to top 1% in
1954-7: 5%
1975-9: 25%
2009-12: 95%

https://t.co/qJ7ZBYmd9O

[HackerNewsOnion @HackerNewsOnion]

New Data Reveals Software Engineers Answer Less Than 3% Of Phone Calls, 0% If It's Not Mom

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

Be prepared, there is a small chance that our horrendous leadership could unknowingly lead us into World War III.

[Sean Spicer @seanspicer]

Wish I could be on the golf course but have to work - must be nice to be President

[Eric Geller @ericgeller]

This is a hell of a paragraph about the president of the United States. https://t.co/E54PRWD5O3

[Branden @Branden]

Current mood: https://t.co/oPDLQEe9sn

[Bradd Jaffy @BraddJaffy]

Trump's day so far:

6:35–7:02 a.m.: Claims he's uncovered a Watergate-level conspiracy

8:19 a.m.: Tweets about reality TV

9:26 a.m.: Golf

[katie @katefeetie]

Every move by Trump's White House so far boils down to, "You know the disenfranchised? We think they're WAY too enfranchised"

[Bess Rogers @BessRogers]

Ahhh. Now I see why they have no problem making maternity coverage optional. https://t.co/Q2FljvNhwN

[Branden @Branden]

@KanyeIsWhite nah

[David S. Joachim @davidjoachim]

Snopes editor on spotting fake news: "If it arouses an emotional response in you, double-check it" https://t.co/WqEVzIC0f9 @deenashanker

[Branden @Branden]

@katefeetie That philosophy also works if you want to run for president

[Peter Daou @peterdaou]

QUESTION: How can you call yourself a patriot and support 33 Benghazi hearings but NOT ONE on whether Russia infiltrated the White House?

[Branden @Branden]

It's really unconscionable how the media has treated the president. Next they'll be questioning the legitimacy of his birth certificate

[Branden @Branden]

I've started working on my Halloween costume for this year. I'm going as a Sexy Crumbling Democracy