Brendan C Kennedy

Brendan Kennedy is a stand-up comic, writer/blogger, and person of too many interests. He writes more than 140 characters at

[Brendan C Kennedy @BrenKennedy]

@NemoNevermore_ mine are lifted up and away by boxer briefs.

[Scott Simon @nprscottsimon]

I am utterly mortified to be informed by our producers that I enunciated Lil’ Wayne on our show as, ahhhem, Little Wayne. My fulsome apologies to @LilTunechi. I doubt he’ll ever have to utter my name, but should he, its seems to me that he could call me Spot.

[Brendan C Kennedy @BrenKennedy]

@joerogan He died of a broken heart.

[Jim Norton @JimNorton]

@joerogan It was either Oswald or someone else

[Brendan C Kennedy @BrenKennedy]

@adamcarolla If they're talking about rebuilding basic infrastructure around the properties, this makes perfect sense and isn't actually talking about redistribution of land.

[G.S. Quay @hemingquay]

Neosporin implies the existence of Paleosporin

[Brendan C Kennedy @BrenKennedy]

@Big_E keep working out

[Brendan C Kennedy @BrenKennedy]

@hillenbrand_tom @adamcarolla https://t.co/N3ag0Tswsz

[Brendan C Kennedy @BrenKennedy]

Sunsetting this account. Catch me on BlueSky for dick jokes

[mark normand @marknorm]

Ironically, Tony Hinchcliffe could use a good PR person

[Brendan C Kennedy @BrenKennedy]

I don't do gay porn but Andy Warhole seems like a wasted power bottom name

[LeVar Burton @levarburton]

I am still in the thrall of last night. Truly, one of the best days of my life… bydhttmwfi

[ᗰᗩƳᖇᗩ @LePapillonBlu2]

Happy Wednesday & FUCK trump.

[Brendan C Kennedy @BrenKennedy]

@itsalexvance lol = lots of love
lmao = let me answer officially
brb = Biden Rules Baby

[Brendan C Kennedy @BrenKennedy]

Women set up dick appointments, which both makes me feel bad about my organizational skills and makes me think someone can sling dick federally if they donate enough to the right campaign.

[Brendan C Kennedy @BrenKennedy]

@altonbrown yes chef

[Brendan C Kennedy @BrenKennedy]

RIP John Amos

[Brian Krassenstein @krassenstein]

BREAKING: J.D. Vance provided the Wall Street Journal with a police report in which a local resident claimed her pet might have been taken by her Haitian neighbors.

Well, guess what!

A reporter visited Anna Kilgore’s house (pictured below) last night, and she confirmed that her missing cat, Miss Sassy, who disappeared in late August, was actually found safe a few days later—hiding in her own basement. So much for that story!

They keep doubling and tripling down but only make themselves look like even bigger fools.

[Brendan C Kennedy @BrenKennedy]

Did an at home sleep study last night, which is a bit of an ego blow. Imagine being so bad at everything you fuck up breathing while you sleep because you're just that dumb.