Brian Aronowitz

Software Engineer @ Open

[Brian Aronowitz @BrianAronowitz]

i wonder if anyone has ever died by getting hit by a pelican

[Brian Aronowitz @BrianAronowitz]

dear apple maps team who writes the software that auto-assigns where your home address is, thanks for trying, but I actually do not live at Benny's rotissery chicken and tacos, plz change it back to 9th street thanks

[Brian Aronowitz @BrianAronowitz]

Keys to a happy life: never buy single ply toilet paper

[Brian Aronowitz @BrianAronowitz]

had a mental image of a parking maid slowly going down the street in the bike lane but instead of them marking tires with chalk they're slashing peoples tires with a knife attached to a broomstick

[Brian Aronowitz @BrianAronowitz]

@HammadTime @elonmusk @natfriedman @ylecun @levelsio I wonder what would an AI generated tweet thread would look like

[Brian Aronowitz @BrianAronowitz]

@Mick_Fanning have you ever been run over by someone riding a @Mick_Fanning board, and if so, how did you feel about it

[Brian Aronowitz @BrianAronowitz]

💔

[Brian Aronowitz @BrianAronowitz]

Spotted in echo park: a morbidly obese pitbull named “piggy”

[Brian Aronowitz @BrianAronowitz]

overheard at a wine bar in LA: listening to someone talk about their ex-bf
"I punched three walls... and I think I bit him once? But the sex was ~great~"

[Brian Aronowitz @BrianAronowitz]

@tomasdavidye @CoinCircle @coin_circle lol what is this crypto scam you're trying to sell me

[Brian Aronowitz @BrianAronowitz]

was really moping over a breakup, then was complaining to my mom who promptly told me: “Brian, you’re not special, this wasn’t special, and I hate to tell you but the only thing that got hurt in your relationship was your ego”. thanks mom lol

[Brian Aronowitz @BrianAronowitz]

finally launched little bug things, had a lot of fun making them, someone plz spend 1 billion dollars on them
https://t.co/E7GrcPQOkr

[Brian Aronowitz @BrianAronowitz]

some art i made the other day

[Brian Aronowitz @BrianAronowitz]

me from 2016 coming in with high quality thoughts:
"funny hypothetical,
Every light switch in an air bnb leads to the garbage disposal"

[Brian Aronowitz @BrianAronowitz]

@_bschmidtchen @LisaWehden 30% attrition rate from employees on scooters getting run over, futuristic business model 🚀

[Brian Aronowitz @BrianAronowitz]

@HammadTime @meghanbkelly whale farming

[Brian Aronowitz @BrianAronowitz]

@_bschmidtchen what you don't like the 1-3 sec latency without user feedback when you toggle between coins in your waller??

[Brian Aronowitz @BrianAronowitz]

@NehaliAnupriya is that eggnog

[Brian Aronowitz @BrianAronowitz]

dad coming in with that critical daily content