Brian Miller

Lawyer, jokes, Oxford commas

[Brian Miller @BrianMillerAd]

#Robyn #DancingOnMyOwn #Cover

[Brian Miller @BrianMillerAd]

@JoFuller24 I have a tip I’d like to share with you. Can you please dm me your email address, so I can send you the details? Thanks so much!

[Brian Miller @BrianMillerAd]

I think Jada looks very handsome with a bald head, so I don’t understand why Will Smith would be so self-conscious about it? #WillSmith #Oscars #AcademyAwards2022 #chrisrock @willsmith @chrisrock #AcademyAward #Oscars #Oscars2022 #Oscar #OscarsFanFavorite

[Brian Miller @BrianMillerAd]

How come no one has started a ramen restaurant called “Everybody Loves Ramen”?

[Brian Miller @BrianMillerAd]

Man, I've never felt as sad about a celebrity's death as I do about @normmacdonald. No words will do him justice, so I'll just leave you with my fav Norm joke. It starts at 5:47 into the vid. RIP, Norm. https://t.co/6NnVGBhAjN

[Brian Miller @BrianMillerAd]

What will that future look like? I predict lots of @mvmt watches, @audible_com audiobooks, and @BlueChew boner pills. 2071 is going to be so fucking siiiiicccckkkk. The water’s looking warm, friends.

[Brian Miller @BrianMillerAd]

In the future, will today’s IG influencers become de facto thought leaders? They managed to gather millions of followers when they were super young and hot and everyone isn’t going to decide to unfollow them all the sudden as they slowly age? #deepthoughts

[Brian Miller @BrianMillerAd]

*billion dollar - Wow, I’m a fucking idiot. 🤦🏻 Jesus. Fucking. Christ. No one was going to tell me about that typo? While we’re on the subject, is anything stuck in my teeth? Just fucking kill me now. Am I right?

[Brian Miller @BrianMillerAd]

Here’s a billionaire idea waiting to happen that I’ll do nothing to develop, but will wait for someone else to and then bitch about how I had the idea first: gamifying fact-checking to increase credibility re news sources.

[Brian Miller @BrianMillerAd]

Here you go, some redline edits and a free lesson in concision.

@CNN @ChrisCillizza @NewYorkStateAG #AndrewCuomo #CNN

[Brian Miller @BrianMillerAd]

Lol @CNN, pretty sure just 8 of those 35 words will do just fine. You know, the 8 that say "the Governor engaged in conduct constituting sexual harassment"?

@ChrisCillizza and @NewYorkStateAG both bein' #SuperfluousAF #CNN #AndrewCuomo

[Brian Miller @BrianMillerAd]

Lol @CNN, pretty sure just 8 of those 35 words will do just fine. You know, the 8 that say "the Governor engaged in conduct constituting sexual harassment"?

@ChrisCillizza and @NewYorkStateAG both bein' #SuperfluousAF #CNN #AndrewCuomo

[CNN @CNN]

"With those 35 words from the investigators in New York Attorney General Letitia James' office, the political career of the New York Democrat likely has come to an end," writes @ChrisCillizza | Analysis https://t.co/VuVUAguEF5

[Brian Miller @BrianMillerAd]

In case you didn’t know…Flo Rida’s name is just “FLORIDA” with a space between the “O” and “R.” Now you know, and I’m sorry.

[Brian Miller @BrianMillerAd]

Just discovered this emoji 👰🏻‍♂️👰🏼‍♂️👰🏽‍♂️👰🏾‍♂️👰🏿‍♂️ exists, but I can’t get a dude breastfeeding? 🤱🏻🤱🏼🤱🏽🤱🏾🤱🏿 You call that representation @SteveJobsFilm, what the fuck? #DoBetter

[Brian Miller @BrianMillerAd]

@GreatScottMills If I’m gonna do something…I’m gonna do a mediocre job at it and then give up on it after only a couple days.

[Brian Miller @BrianMillerAd]

Here’s a billionaire idea waiting to happen that I’ll do nothing to develop, but will wait for someone else to and then bitch about how I had the idea first: gamifying fact-checking to increase credibility re news sources.

[Brian Miller @BrianMillerAd]

Why are people so afraid to say they have regrets? I regret like 5 things a day. It’s not even 1:00 p.m. and I already have at least 3 regrets so far today. Are people just dishonest, or what’s going on?

[Brian Miller @BrianMillerAd]

Jesus…how did this single tweet somehow suck me into hours of Twitter sleuthing to understand the drama happening between @BretWeinstein @BetterSkeptics @socialevol @alexandrosM …

[Brian Miller @BrianMillerAd]

Went out of focus while mindlessly plucking my eyebrows for 30 minutes. Sure, I guess I’ll look surprised for the 3 months. 😧🧐 Thanks A.D.D.

[Brian Miller @BrianMillerAd]

Just heard @Timcast’s voice and it sounds exactly like @RealShkreli’s face.

[Brian Miller @BrianMillerAd]

People who look up synonyms for every other word confabulate perturbingly.

[Brian Miller @BrianMillerAd]

On one end of the spectrum, we have a country hailing an athlete as a hero for dropping out due to mental health concerns. On the other, we have a country calling athletes traitors for getting second place. Can everyone just fucking cool it? K, thx.

https://t.co/PIikvps66h