Brigid Brown

🐝

[Sal the Agorist @SallyMayweather]

As long as you don’t need gas or groceries things aren’t so bad

[Sophia ❣️ @KeruboSk]

Friday the 13th doesn’t seem so ominous anymore now that every day carries a threatening aura.

[taoki @justalexoki]

international women's day only being 23 hours is objectively funny

[Benny Boy @Camel_Crushin]

Lindsey Vonn is skiing in the olympics with a torn ACL. I’m going to bed early because I have a tummy ache. We are not the same.

[Sydney Urbanek @sydurbanek]

The Grinch’s two moms simply moving on when he didn’t come home from school that day

[𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥 @homemakinghunny]

Husbands should be able to leave work early if their wives really really really miss them.

[devin @dchally_]

At a hockey game and the girl in front of me kept yelling “kiss eachother” when the players fought

[chase @_chase_____]

a white refrigerator with a bunch of random wedding invites and christmas cards and receipts and menus and magnets of places you’ve been is actually so chic and glamorous

[mia @httpsosweet]

i don't need much in life i just want to go on walks with my husband and eat some good soup

[Big Choctaw @Derekalexander_]

no noise november. everyone shut up

[َ @gir1genius]

october 31st november 1st

[Kyle 🌱 @KylePlantEmoji]

Hearing your pet make heaving sounds in a carpeted room

[t8 @imjustt8]

isn’t it crazy that republicans can link tylenol to autism but not guns to mass shootings

[Chigozie Obi @ChigozieObi_]

Can the people that believe rapture is happening tomorrow send me all their money?

[mirrorball ❤️‍🔥 @penthouseheart]

you want me to work? taylor swift just told the world she is engaged to be married and you want me to work?

[cold 🥑 @coldhealing]

Turned my 401k contribution to the lowest possible amount so I can focus on having dinner and drinks with my friends

[Dinah @dinahaddie]

sorry I can’t, I’m busy liking all the coldplay affair tweets I missed today because I was at my stupid job

[Storm ❤️‍🔥 @Stormycol2]

I hope my kids don’t get a peanut allergies like a f*cking dork

[swagless @noswagordrip]

Apparently it’s make me mad Monday.