I don’t know who needs to read this but your birth certificate is not your resume and you probably shouldn’t be putting all that personal info out on Indeed. 🤨 #thehiringstruggleisreal
Pence must have mixed up invitations and actually thinks he is at a hoe down tonight. Only explanation for why he’s side stepped so many questions tonight. #VPDebate
Did Pence just say “stop playing politics with people’s lives?” Millions of Americans choke on whatever they’re eating. Irony has no place on a VP debate stage.
Marriage is telling your husband to move to his side of the bed and to not hog it all night. Then trying to have a conversation and getting this response—
‘I’m sorry. I couldn’t hear you from all the way over here.’ 🙄
#hegotjokes#dadjokes#marriage#healsosnores#imtired
Read that Outer Banks on Netflix is like Gossip Girl & The OC w/more mystery. Someone give those marketing folks a raise because it’s more like Holes meets Gilligan’s Island with a touch of Outsiders and I just turned that shit off 36 minutes in. 👎🏻
My 6 year old is learning how to read. Tonight when I was reading with her she kept saying “mystery” at the end of random sentences so I finally stopped to ask her why. She informed me that what the ? was. Who am I to correct that? (Mystery)
I just saw an ad for a razor that glows in the dark. Please tell me who is brave enough to shave in the dark because that is some next level confidence. 🧐🧐🧐 #productsyoudidntknowyouneeded#becauseyoudont
I call my kids by the wrong names so often that they have started identifying themselves when they talk to me. ‘Hey Mom, it’s me Tenley...’
And I honestly just appreciate their help in any form at this point.
#mombrain#averageparentproblems#teamworkmakesthedreamwork
Sloane just informed me that her preschool teachers call each other by their middle names so they don’t get confused since both of their first names are Miss. 😂😂😂
#cantmakethisstuffup#shesathinker
Playing The Game of Life with the 4 year old. She draws an action card that says she has to give everyone (me) a compliment.
4: So, how does a compliment go?
Me: Something you like about me. So, I like it when you...
4: WEAR MAKEUP!
#ouch#averageparentproblems