Liz Moniz (Cupertino)

East Coast Comic🎤

Featured in Boston Voyager Magazine's Trailblazer series:

[Liz Moniz (Cupertino) @BusinessLiz]

My toxic family after I tried to set healthy boundaries.

[Liz Moniz (Cupertino) @BusinessLiz]

Me, a neurodivergent kid in the early 2000s: Help my brain doesn't work but I really want to graduate and am never a behavior problem.

My highschool: Shut up and sit in this special classroom with the kid who punched the gym teacher. Today's assignment is to make a paper hat.

[Liz Moniz (Cupertino) @BusinessLiz]

Me: Gets told by her doctor that she has high blood sugar and needs to change her lifestyle
Also me: Receives this shirt she forgot she ordered in the mail the following week

[Liz Moniz (Cupertino) @BusinessLiz]

Thank you to my @DoorDash delivery person for taking a picture of me holding my food so that I would be able to find it easily.

[Danny DeVito @DannyDeVito]

Supreme Court my ass

[Liz Moniz (Cupertino) @BusinessLiz]

My therapist: Practice self care and be kind to yourself.

Me to myself:

[Liz Moniz (Cupertino) @BusinessLiz]

Some people: "I take off my wedding ring in public so I can cheat on my spouse."

Me: "I took off my wedding ring in public because I realized it was full of melted cheese."

[Seth Green @SethGreen]

Painfully funny also not at all funny

[Liz Moniz (Cupertino) @BusinessLiz]

It isn't officially Christmas until the internet is flooded with Millennial discourse about the movie Home Alone.

[Liz Moniz (Cupertino) @BusinessLiz]

@SassyMzManassy "Boobs in the Night: the Laura Manasewich Story."

[Liz Moniz (Cupertino) @BusinessLiz]

@SassyMzManassy Hahahaha

[Liz Moniz (Cupertino) @BusinessLiz]

My 7 year old and I are carving a pumpkin for a local nursing home's Jack-o'-lantern walk, and this is the pattern he selected.

[Nicole Johnson @nj389765]

GREAT job @moabpolice 👏👏👏Wonderful to see your officer laughing and fist bumping a man who was slapping and hitting his girlfriend earlier that day, per the 911 call. These officers should be fired. #GABBYPETITO #BrianLaundrie #moabpolice #shameful

[Liz Moniz (Cupertino) @BusinessLiz]

The scene: Zoom appointment with a new doctor, asking me mental health related questions
Question: "What are your strengths?"
My mouth: says HMMMM for an extremely inappropriate length of time
My brain: blank, except for one part that's screaming "MORE CUSHION FOR THE PUSHIN"

[Liz Moniz (Cupertino) @BusinessLiz]

My uterus: "Well if we're not going to have a baby this month, I guess you're going to start an argument with your husband about hotdogs and then sob hysterically over a Rod Stewart song."

[Liz Moniz (Cupertino) @BusinessLiz]

My 16 year old now has a job and his very first financial contribution was to @DoorDash me some churros.

[Liz Moniz (Cupertino) @BusinessLiz]

@KatieGArroyo Hahahaha

[Kendall Rae @KendallRaeOnYT]

Just wanna know why people think comments like this are actually helpful!? STOP GIVING UNSOLICITED “ADVICE” ON PEOPLE’S PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

[Liz Moniz (Cupertino) @BusinessLiz]

Adding unsuspecting acquaintances to your MLM Facebook group is the suburban white mom equivalent of sending dick pics.

[Ladyspike Media @LadyspikeMedia]

7 Disgusting Vintage Recipes That are Still Less Offensive Than My Ex-Boyfriends
https://t.co/y6JTDSpRTn