As the eldest daughter I feel like it is my responsibility to take care of everyone and everything. From making everyone at home eat their meals, making tea and snacks for guests, handling every crisis with a calm mind, taking care of everyone’s emotions, understanding everyone,
And all I kept worrying about was the fact that I was making everyone sad and that I wasn’t close to anyone anymore, not on anyone’s inner circle. I still do. Constantly fearing I’d just be alone and clueless.
My heart beats really fast & I constantly feel I don’t know what’s going on. I feel my dynamic with everything and everyone changing. HJ itself was overwhelming and something happened and I haven’t felt the same since. I don’t even feel like myself anymore. All I feel is distant.
The one thing I always thought I was good at was expressing myself. And I don’t even do that anymore. I just keep everything in and am slowly distancing myself from everything and everyone and I just don’t know what to do with myself
Slept for 3 hours in the last 58 hours. Came home after those 58 hours and passed out for 13 hours. Woke up in the morning and ate pizza and loaded fries for breakfast. What is this life?
I don’t know what I did in life to deserve the friends that I have right now. My heart is so full. Big dinosaur love them. Big dinosaur grateful for them