Being in a healthy relationship truly taught me there is no such thing as "that's just the way I am". When you genuinely love someone you work on those toxic traits, you learn to communicate, you actively listen to each others thoughts and feelings – you grow and heal together.
Some people refuse to see the new you because they are the old them. The truth is, what they refuse to see in you is what they refuse to feel about you. Detach from them. Be with people who want to see and experience the new you, not their outdated comfort zone version of you.
‘I overplayed my part’, ‘I cared too much’ no. you were simply being you: gentle & thoughtful. someone was using you for their own benefit and you’re trying to understand how you messed it up? you didn’t. they didn’t value you the way you valued them, and that’s never your fault.
Want to be attractive? Be yourself. Embrace your awkwardness, your ‘weird’ interests, and let people see you light up over whatever brings you happiness. Authenticity and being comfortable in your own skin is magnetic. People can just feel it.