Charles Cabbage

demi-god.

[Charles Cabbage @CCabbage2012]

THE END.

[Charles Cabbage @CCabbage2012]

Cheesecake, pizza, potato chips, bagels, double bacon cheeseburgers, donuts, ice cream, bacon, chocolate bars, french fries, cheese dog 💀

[Charles Cabbage @CCabbage2012]

Anyone that has push notifications for social media turned on is a narcissist.

[Charles Cabbage @CCabbage2012]

Brb, I'm micro-managing the universe.

[Charles Cabbage @CCabbage2012]

Fucking is a long way to go for a hug.

[Charles Cabbage @CCabbage2012]

Your existence is a trigger.

[Charles Cabbage @CCabbage2012]

Last one to die is a rotten egg.

[Charles Cabbage @CCabbage2012]

If it wasn't for capitalism there would be no Whole Foods.

[Charles Cabbage @CCabbage2012]

Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are the highlights of my day.

[Charles Cabbage @CCabbage2012]

While you're busy describing yourself in three fictional characters the world is falling apart around you.

[Charles Cabbage @CCabbage2012]

Brb, remembering the things I should be forgetting and forgetting the things I should be remembering.

[Charles Cabbage @CCabbage2012]

The best way to deal with emotionally challenging situations is to imagine the people involved as inanimate objects.

[Charles Cabbage @CCabbage2012]

1, 2, 3, 4, fuck you 5, 6, omg I'm dying 7, 8, 9, I'm just gonna pretend 10

[Charles Cabbage @CCabbage2012]

En route to a nice dinner and a show and I'm having a panic attack in the back seat but the driver doesn't know.

[Charles Cabbage @CCabbage2012]

The only one that's invited to my pity party is me.

[Charles Cabbage @CCabbage2012]

The impending doom of having to socialize is not going well.

[Charles Cabbage @CCabbage2012]

Fuck mercury in retrograde, I feel like shit all the time.

[Charles Cabbage @CCabbage2012]

Subtle dread and unrequited loneliness are my two best friends.

[Charles Cabbage @CCabbage2012]

ice-cream cone > self esteem

[Charles Cabbage @CCabbage2012]

"I'm back bitches," said my ego.