Chris Foster

Member of Camden Tour Guides Association, Scout Leader, retired media man for The Scout Association, occasional pantomime performer and long suffering Gooner.

[Chris Foster @CFozzyFoster]

Managed to get hold of what I thought was an old map of the Sahara Desert. But when I opened it up, I was disappointed to see it was a sheet of sandpaper #fozzyonafriday

[Chris Foster @CFozzyFoster]

I got confused with my pills and the Grand-dog’s pills being on the same shelf. As a result I’ve now got a shiny coat, a wet nose and no worms or fleas for the next month #fozzyonafriday

[Chris Foster @CFozzyFoster]

My new activity of skimming stones across the water came to a sudden end when the swimming pool manager chucked me out #fozzyonafriday

[Chris Foster @CFozzyFoster]

Went out to dinner with a load of old mates who are electricians. None of them ordered starters, they went straight for the mains #fozzyonafriday

[Chris Foster @CFozzyFoster]

I’ve got myself an occasional table. For the rest of the time it’s either a step ladder or a foot stool #fozzyonafriday

[Chris Foster @CFozzyFoster]

Went for an eyesight test last week. Just had a call to say that the results were back. I asked if I could pop in and see them but the optician said “Probably not” #fozzyonafriday

[Chris Foster @CFozzyFoster]

Went to A&E following a wasp sting. The nurse asked where it was. I told her that two hours ago it was in the garden, but no idea where it is now #fozzyonafriday

[Chris Foster @CFozzyFoster]

I bought myself a new garden gate. The instructions said that it should be treated, so I took it out for a few beers and a curry #fozzyonafriday

[Chris Foster @CFozzyFoster]

My mate made a bit of an error by using his donor card instead of his debit card. It ended up costing him an arm and a leg #fozzyonafriday

[Chris Foster @CFozzyFoster]

My mate has just won a boiler suit wearing competition. He became the overall champion #fozzyonafriday

[Chris Foster @CFozzyFoster]

I have just found two bed bugs. I left them alone as they have fallen in love and getting married in the spring #fozzyonafriday

[Chris Foster @CFozzyFoster]

If ever I was thinking about standing as an MP, I would change my name by Deed Poll to “Spoilt Vote”. That will give me a good chance on Election Day #fozzyonafriday

[Chris Foster @CFozzyFoster]

My mate once led a discussion group at his local prison. The inmates all enjoyed going to the breakout room #fozzyonafriday

[Chris Foster @CFozzyFoster]

I found out that it took three sheep to create my new woolly jumper. Amazing! I never knew that they could knit #fozzyonafriday

[Chris Foster @CFozzyFoster]

I have just found a load of Lego dumped on the doorstep.
I just don’t know what to make of it #fozzyonafriday

[Chris Foster @CFozzyFoster]

My mate has had some odd girlfriends. His latest identifies herself as a wheelie bin. But he can’t remember if he is taking her out on Wednesday or Thursday #fozzyonafriday

[Chris Foster @CFozzyFoster]

Popped into my local shop to buy some bulldog clips. The chap behind the counter said they didn’t have any but offered me a nice video of a poodle #fozzyonafriday

[Chris Foster @CFozzyFoster]

Went into my local bookshop and asked if they had any books on the history of pantomime. The chap at the till said “They’re Behind You!” #fozzyonafriday

[Chris Foster @CFozzyFoster]

Doing my volunteering in the local community library. A lady came in asking for a book about self help. I suggested that she looked for the book herself #fozzyonafriday

[Chris Foster @CFozzyFoster]

My mate has bought a house with a particularly long corridor. I think he’s in it for the long hall #fozzyonafriday