tadpole

Satan is a woman

[tadpole @CITRICACID_]

god knew i would be too powerful if my eyelids weren’t hooded

[👩‍💻 @weirdassfishes]

I like when Snoopy sticks out his tongue and is rude and a bad sport and unfriendly

[ezawful @starryskyfever]

if my daughter 🙅🏻‍♀️ 👩🏻‍🍼 comes out as 🌈 GAY 🌈 I am SHIPPING HER OFF 🚂✈️📫 to a 👼🏻 CATHOLIC👼🏻 🏫BOARDING SCHOOL🏫 because you KNOW🧠👀 those girls there are 👅F🤞🏻R🤯E😩A😍K💦Y💋 and 🚫🚫🚫NO🚫🚫🚫 daughter of 👩🏻MINE👧🏻 will miss out on the BIGGEST 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩gay opportunity ever👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

[The Lesbian Pervert @babyknifespice]

a baby just blew vape smoke in MY face wtf

[tadpole @CITRICACID_]

this is exactly how my night went #heletmeholdit

[julia @juumelo_]

need an espresso martini and to hold it while he pees

[Beau @thecharmingbeau]

It's ok to embarrass yourself in pursuit of making a beautiful girl laugh

[Southern Dan @StolenDans]

coolest shit in the entire world tbh

[Sesame Street @sesamestreet]

Today is your day!

[julia @juumelo_]

need an espresso martini and to hold it while he pees

[Phisheyy @phisheyy]

she must be an orca the way she rams me so hard i explode

[Bill Black @I_Lovemesome_Me]

I like my women like how I like my coffee

big titties

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

i can phil it collins in the air tonight

[microplastics nanobubbler @facetedcarapace]

Addicts will use any occasion possible as an excuse to relapse

[itzy binks ohtani 💙🇲🇽 @itzybitzyminnie]

"is that Madonna?"- my 11 year old brother

[Jimmy Wong @jfwong]

You will never guess the last line spoken in this video even if you had five years to do so.

[erin chack @ErinChack]

[calling my friend while cat sitting] can she have a cigarette

[𝐵𝑎𝑏𝑦 𝐾 @misskerrington]

If I was famous I would do so many q&a’s because unfortunately I love talking about myself

[salem ♫⃠ @weedyaoi]

using my one call in jail to facetime my bitch and listen to her pee one last time