ChubMalayu

[ChubMalayu @CMalayu]

As a bottom using a dating app, my definite swipe left will be

1. Long nails
2. Dyed hair
3. Another bottom
4. Overdressed
5. "Don't study me, you'll never graduate"

[ChubMalayu @CMalayu]

How dare you degrade the cat!?

[Kadi🇪🇪🌻 @TheFl0orIsLaVa]

😼

[ChubMalayu @CMalayu]

Funny la you. Bila tanya cari apa you jawab "cari fun je"

So bila I diam you marah. Lepastu bila I cakap "jom fun?" You marah lagi kata "ingat I pelacur ke?"

Jadi you nak fun je ke? Nak FWB ke? Ke FuBu ke? And apa sebenarnya? Lol! Betul agaknya bila orang kata mental illness.

[ChubMalayu @CMalayu]

Aku betul2 nak tau.

Kita boikot sampai Starbucks bungkus, McD bungkus, selain drpd rakyat tempatan hilang kerja, apa lg kesan boikot? Ishell masih bom sana sini.

Jangan salah anggap, aku bukan perli. Aku pun boikot. Cuma malam ni aku betul2 tertanya apa kesannya?

[ChubMalayu @CMalayu]

Tapi bila kita approach, diam tak layan. After a few tries, still you are left on read. Rupanya bukan taste. Laaaa cakap je lah shibal. Be specific.

I might date a Gen Z laa macam ni. Less headache.

[ChubMalayu @CMalayu]

Gen Z is so transparent when it comes to dating app.

"Looking for someone who is ready to settle down. Someone athletic, above 170cm, fair skin, stable income"

So we know if we fit. Unlike my own generation

"Seriously looking for someone to settle down. Semua penipu"

[ChubMalayu @CMalayu]

@idespisecats Both

[ChubMalayu @CMalayu]

Normal kot baru nak kenal tanya nama, duk mana, dah makan ke dsb.

Kalau kau betul nak rasa macam interview kerja, aku boleh je tanya pandangan kau pasal ekonomi dunia, wabak penyakit, kiamat iklim dsb.

Aku tak tau la, aku yg membosankan ke kau yang membosankan?

[ChubMalayu @CMalayu]

Tak sampai sejam tegur 'Hi' di dating app, dah cakap "apa usaha awk nak datang jumpa saya? Kalau ada pilihan lain teruskan lah, saya okay. Awak takde effort pun nak jumpa saya"

OMG! Gila ke apa dia ni?

[ChubMalayu @CMalayu]

@idespisecats Kena try dulu.. hehe

[ChubMalayu @CMalayu]

"dah makan ke?"

"Apsal nak belanja?"

Memang aku block.

[ChubMalayu @CMalayu]

@APZ88 I like you.

[ChubMalayu @CMalayu]

@superchubfan

[ChubMalayu @CMalayu]

Aku sedih. Bagi aku ruang cerita kat sini. Mungkin ada yg kenal aku di luar. Tapi aku harap baca je lah. Aku just tak tau nak luah pada siapa.

I have been crying ever since I did this. Tapi aku dah habis daya nak buat macam mana.

[ChubMalayu @CMalayu]

@strange85519849 My grandaunt dah balik dah. I am devastated. She refused when I wanted to shake her hands just now 😭 thanks anyway.. I just need a safe space.....

[ChubMalayu @CMalayu]

Tp aku just harap aku mati mengejut, accident ke, kena bunuh ke, supaya dah tua tak susahkan orang. Even better, tak sempat tua.

Okay thanks!

[ChubMalayu @CMalayu]

Tbh, aku nampak future aku.

Aku pun bakal sebatang kara.

Aku tak tau la nanti kalau anak2 buah kenang aku, boleh bawa aku beraya. Tp kalau spouse diorang buat aku macam bapak aku buat kat nenek sedara aku, aku rela je lah raya sorang2 kat rumah kebajikan.