Consulting Writer

No one of consequence.

[Consulting Writer @CW_writeme]

@arthur_rumrill @NuckChorris16 I think it's a better deal if you get all of them cut.

[Consulting Writer @CW_writeme]

@zyn_laden https://t.co/ysT6Erb5mE

[Consulting Writer @CW_writeme]

@BasedAntman We had some kids doing that with our neighbor's pool while we were out of town. I told the neighbor that texted me that if they see the kids, warn them because we have a big dog in our backyard. I can't be held responsible for what he does if they tresspass.

[Consulting Writer @CW_writeme]

@RealitySalesman I totally wouldn't do this. 😂

[Consulting Writer @CW_writeme]

@IMayBeGiant9669 @lorilorai @melfeelswaggish Mine is caused by TMJ. I clench my jaw so tight due to stress.

[Consulting Writer @CW_writeme]

@lorilorai @melfeelswaggish Yes, this. Once it hits, the only way to beat it is to find dark room with all of that (and water). Eyes closed. Relax. Sleep, if possible.
I've tried to work through it w/medicine and it just gets worse or lingers.

[Consulting Writer @CW_writeme]

@Theo_TJ_Jordan His voiceover during the interview. Is this typical for him? Why can't the interview just stand on its own?

[Consulting Writer @CW_writeme]

@lorilorai

[Consulting Writer @CW_writeme]

@BeObjectiveNow @RealitySalesman @lorilorai @MAGA_Patriot__ 🤣

[Consulting Writer @CW_writeme]

@RealitySalesman @MAGA_Patriot__ I had a guy do some work on rusted metal railing. Not sure if he did it bc I'm not a dude, but his handshake was soooo weak.

[Consulting Writer @CW_writeme]

Hollywood trying to figure out what other IPs to destroy. Oh right...forgot about Stargate. 🙄

[Variety @Variety]

'Stargate' TV Series From Martin Gero Not Moving Forward at Amazon (EXCLUSIVE) https://t.co/B67uS7cEZR

[Consulting Writer @CW_writeme]

@hanginout55 @OrbitalAbuser This I believe. If only that used up calories, right?

[Consulting Writer @CW_writeme]

@kbean511 @JebraFaushay So those businesses that don't have the sticker will be harassed and those that do have the sticker will be boycotted. 🙄

[Consulting Writer @CW_writeme]

@RoyalBlueRapto1 🤣We still love raptors.
But yes, poor Muldoon.

[Consulting Writer @CW_writeme]

I love sarcasm so much.
No, seriously. I do. 🤣

[Enguerrand VII de Coucy @ingelramdecoucy]

@RXCafeTX In fairness look at that stud, can you blame the ladies for throwing themselves at him?

[Consulting Writer @CW_writeme]

I don't care if this is real or fiction, this is hilarious. And, it's so close to what I've experience with my own mandatory corporate compliance. 🤣

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

Our HR department just migrated all our mandatory compliance training to a new gamified learning management system.

I received an automated email stating I had 48 hours to complete a module on data privacy or my badge would be deactivated.

I logged into the portal and was greeted by a cartoon badger named Barnaby.

Barnaby told me I was about to embark on a security quest.

I'm 44 years old.

I don't want to go on a quest.

The first module was a video about phishing scams produced like a high-budget daytime soap opera.

The actors were inappropriately attractive for a simulated accounts payable department.

The main character, Chad, left his laptop open at a coffee shop while he ordered a matcha latte.

A guy in a black hoodie immediately sat down and downloaded the entire corporate mainframe to a USB drive in four seconds.

Then the video paused and asked me to identify Chad's critical mistake.

The multiple choice options were leaving the device unsecured, using public Wi-Fi, or failing to foster a culture of vigilance.

I clicked the first one.

Barnaby the badger popped up and told me I was technically correct, but I lacked a holistic security mindset.

He deducted 10 "synergy tokens" from my digital wallet.

I didn't even know I had a digital wallet.

The next scenario involved a complex ethical dilemma about accepting gifts from vendors.

A supplier offered the protagonist a branded corporate fleece.

The video framed this as the first step toward international corporate espionage.

I was asked if accepting the fleece was a violation of the anti-bribery statutes.

I clicked yes.

Barnaby congratulated me and awarded me a bronze digital badge of integrity.

I tried to fast-forward through the next video because it was 45 minutes long.

The player immediately froze and a warning message appeared saying Barnaby notices you are rushing.

The video restarted from the very beginning.

I sat there for 45 minutes watching a dramatization of password hygiene while staring blankly at my monitor.

At the end of the quest, I had to take a 50-question final exam.

One question asked how long a visitor badge is valid under the new global security matrix.

I guessed 24 hours.

Barnaby appeared with a sad face and told me it was 12 hours.

I failed the module with an 84 percent.

The passing grade was 85 percent.

Barnaby informed me that my quest must start over.

I considered throwing my company-issued laptop out the window.

Instead, I sent an email to HR asking for an extension.

I got an automated reply saying the HR representative was out of the office on a corporate wellness retreat.

I clicked replay on the video.

Chad is about to leave his laptop at the coffee shop again.

This time I hope the hacker deletes my employee profile entirely.

[Consulting Writer @CW_writeme]

@CeriJPhillips1 When's your presentation gonna drop?

[Consulting Writer @CW_writeme]

@RealitySalesman Do you try to change to ph levels of the soil to get those colors? Or are these happy accidents?

[Consulting Writer @CW_writeme]

Don't want to tag NPR bc they don't need more engagement, but this aged like milk.

[Consulting Writer @CW_writeme]

@lorilorai @RealitySalesman Does it help keep the romance alive?