Church of Phil

Latest news, goss & blacklistings from Camp Phil holiday park. Not a cult. Run by @firedonkeylive

[Church of Phil @C_of_Phil]

Camp Phil - it's not a holiday we're trying to sell but a lifestyle. #caravanlife

[Church of Phil @C_of_Phil]

Good news! We listened and are pleased to announce we're offering free hot meals to all children on-site, hereby eradicating the hard labour tokens-for-food scheme that has been at the very core of what we do here at Camp Phil.
Sincerely,
Management

[Church of Phil @C_of_Phil]

Important announcement re hosepipe ban

[Church of Phil @C_of_Phil]

If you're waking up with a sore head this morning, it may be because someone spiked the moonshine with 5-year-old celery juice.

[Church of Phil @C_of_Phil]

Thanks to everyone who made the witch burnings last night such a special occasion. Only 15 casualties (excluding witches). A new record!

[Church of Phil @C_of_Phil]

Apologies to anyone who ate ham from the cafeteria yesterday, this was an April fool's joke that got out of hand.

[Church of Phil @C_of_Phil]

Camp Phil Official Notice :

We are delighted to announce that we will no longer be serving contaminated ham at our on-site cafeteria.

Sincerely,
Management

[Church of Phil @C_of_Phil]

@firedonkeylive After last night's Camp Phil screening we can confirm that we will be contacting our lawyers.

[Margarita Helene @MargieHelene]

Best documentary I've ever seen.. and I've seen a lot of them! Go watch this NOW https://t.co/gelK5XhzvR #canwetalkaboutphil @C_of_Phil @firedonkeylive

[Fire Donkey @firedonkeylive]

Can We Talk About Phil? A full length mockumentary about @C_of_Phil Out tonight. https://t.co/ccUl1hcBRO

[Fire Donkey @firedonkeylive]

Can We Talk About Phil? A documentary we made about @C_of_Phil. Out tomorrow via this link: https://t.co/ccUl1hcBRO

[Church of Phil @C_of_Phil]

Camp Phil Advent Calendar Day 1!

What's behind the door today?

Why it's the door of Janine Kilkenny's caravan (no.68 T)! which has been missing presumed stolen since the weekend when she hosted a little jamboree.
Any info on the door pls speak to Linda at reception.

[Church of Phil @C_of_Phil]

Camp Notice:

Owing to circumstances beyond our control we are now in possession of 150,000 rescue pigs.

If you have any questions as to how this may affect you or any on-site activities please don't hesitate to get in touch.

Sincerely,
Camp Management

[Church of Phil @C_of_Phil]

Polite note from the camp shop:

Can everyone stop panic buying Spam from the shop. We are now running so low on Spam people have started panic buying pig feed and it's unlikely we'll make it through the winter without enough pig feed to go round.

[Church of Phil @C_of_Phil]

Believe you me this isn't the first time Hollywood has tried infiltrating our camp

[Church of Phil @C_of_Phil]

We're in this!

[Fire Donkey @firedonkeylive]

We made a mock documentary about @C_of_Phil, premiering at @Stroudtheatre this weekend. Further screenings probable

[Church of Phil @C_of_Phil]

We'll show this big time movie hot shots who they're messing with

[Church of Phil @C_of_Phil]

Happy Bank Holiday weekend to all our members and guests! We hope you enjoy the festivities we have in store. In other news there is currently an escaped komodo dragon loose on the grounds. We recommend you do not try to feed it if you come across it.

[Ian Crawford @SpoonSense]

Thanks to all those who attended the first #Edfringe online virtual @TheFreeFringe show - a great pass rate - catch it if you can on Tues & Weds at 8pm