Himbo Slice

I like to sing, dance, pretend and KAZOOOO

[Himbo Slice @CaLuMsPiVeY]

Charles Olivi-whatthefuckisgoingonwithhishair-a

[Himbo Slice @CaLuMsPiVeY]

It’s crazy Amazon lets you have subscription to Oreos

[Himbo Slice @CaLuMsPiVeY]

Had to improv my way out of an accurate fart accusation at the bar just now. I am so rattled.

[Himbo Slice @CaLuMsPiVeY]

In my horse era.

(Eating apples and raw carrots as a meal)

[Himbo Slice @CaLuMsPiVeY]

Name something less dignified than handing off the washroom key directly to your coworker at the office like some sort of sick piss relay.

[Himbo Slice @CaLuMsPiVeY]

Describing yourself as “insightful” is hilarious to me

[Himbo Slice @CaLuMsPiVeY]

I had a pretty good racket going for a couple months, where I was putting as many work expenses as I could on my personal credit card to earn cash back dollars.
Work asked me to stop, which I had no problem doing, but now TD thinks I’m a reformed shopping addict or something.

[Himbo Slice @CaLuMsPiVeY]

When I’m feeling down, I just go to my office Teams chat and pull up my message that got 11 laugh reacts nine months ago and that usually sorts me out.

[Himbo Slice @CaLuMsPiVeY]

When I fart in the club: 😉🤫🤭
When anyone else farts in the club: 😡🤮🤬

[Himbo Slice @CaLuMsPiVeY]

I’ve got a couple questions… @WorkSafeBC

[Himbo Slice @CaLuMsPiVeY]

When did we let baseball caps become $60?

[Himbo Slice @CaLuMsPiVeY]

How about a law that requires all businesses to include their full, public-facing business name in credit card transactions?

I’m tired of playing Visa Detective when I open up my statement and see that my card was changed by “B1ng_Bøng Corp. Ltd.” because I bought a sandwich.

[Himbo Slice @CaLuMsPiVeY]

@bigbitchben We can’t tell you.

[Himbo Slice @CaLuMsPiVeY]

It’s impossible to look tough when you’re stoned

[Himbo Slice @CaLuMsPiVeY]

This image would put a 2006 old navy employee into cardiac arrest

[Himbo Slice @CaLuMsPiVeY]

I know it can’t be right, but I’m so sure I could befriend a gorilla if I had the chance

[Himbo Slice @CaLuMsPiVeY]

Just accidentally gave my plants a heroic dose of fertilizer by messing up the ratio to water. Them boys are probably tripping hard right now.

[Himbo Slice @CaLuMsPiVeY]

I bet you I could drink more michelob ultras than ANY of those pussies

[Himbo Slice @CaLuMsPiVeY]

Networking

[Himbo Slice @CaLuMsPiVeY]

Me: *maple leaf temporary tattoo barely faded from the very middle of my forehead* - “You can really taste the difference between the Riesling and the Gewurtztraminer”