caleb™

big boyfriend energy // rochester, ny based comic // 🏳️‍🌈

[caleb™ @CalebJGoldberg]

when elphaba was a freshman in college she became the wicked witch of the west. when I was a freshman in college I joined an improv team

[caleb™ @CalebJGoldberg]

@MrHariBalz @JezziiB you can, actually, and most of us do. not everyone is scared of brown people like you are

[caleb™ @CalebJGoldberg]

@isabelunraveled hi this made me cry??? anyway marrying my grounded bf next year and love his practical sensibility and how it balances my whimsy 🥰

[caleb™ @CalebJGoldberg]

i have started calling this caleb’s hot bitch method. whenever i’m about to say something clingy or insecure, i ask myself “is that the hot bitch thing to do?” and because i care about being a hot bitch more than anything else, it almost always works

[lev (sumer is icumen in) @abookofsymbols]

it sucks that excessive fretting about being irritating and burdensome just kinda makes you more of those things. one of god’s little tricks

[caleb™ @CalebJGoldberg]

wait til you see the post this is replying to

[Alexandrite564 @Alexandrite654]

@XanderhalTV okay but hypothetically what if there was someone who transformed into a black person when they sneezed and turned white again when they sneezed again

[caleb™ @CalebJGoldberg]

show me!!! show me!!!!!

[вιg мσмму @adeeloca]

#pridemonth

[Punished Cheburashka @reelCheburashka]

The median gay man is a much better person than the median straight man, but an evil gay man is like 10x more evil than an evil straight man

[caleb™ @CalebJGoldberg]

no it didn’t

[tia ★ @tiadeeznuts]

the dominos delivery tracker just told me my exact place and time of death

[caleb™ @CalebJGoldberg]

my experience has been Quite different

[Thomas White @len0killer]

Hitting weed pen in 2016: Best of Bob Marley on SoundCloud, send puppy filter Snapchat video to friend who will die next year

Hitting weed pen in 2026: Buy an exotic soda cookbook, Ghostwrite new song for Sade called “Your Love is a Phone”

[caleb™ @CalebJGoldberg]

imagine your boss sends you this lmfao

[Bobson🌱Dugnutt @f_a_infinityy]

Man Stroker’s Ejacula

[caleb™ @CalebJGoldberg]

@Rogue_Stereo @RammyMolnar @CantEverDie haha yeah that’s why i asked them. i thought yerba madre was a new product from the same company but they told me their wanted something easier to remember that had more of a “connection to mother earth”

[caleb™ @CalebJGoldberg]

@Rogue_Stereo @RammyMolnar @CantEverDie the brand name wasn’t yerba mate lol that’s just the name of the beverage. it was Guayaki

[caleb™ @CalebJGoldberg]

@RammyMolnar @CantEverDie i actually got to talk with some of their team about it and it’s really just that their actual brand name was really hard to pronounce and nobody even called them that. their brand name wasn’t yerba mate but that was the biggest thing on the can so that’s what everyone called it

[caleb™ @CalebJGoldberg]

can’t trust horoscopes anymore cus they’re all AI generated. i miss when horoscopes were homegrown by authentic bipolar she/theys in Brooklyn 💔

[caleb™ @CalebJGoldberg]

i think everyone is insane now

[caleb™ @CalebJGoldberg]

we literally learned about this in crystal orb tricks class but you were too busy drawing that damn eye 😒

[caleb™ @CalebJGoldberg]

why am i just now finding out the protagonist of this movie is named Harry Hole

[Jared Gilman @realJaredGilman]

holy shit

[The Ogunboy 🌚 @AlafinOfOgun]

Even gay people are Homophobic, Transphobic, Femmephobic and Racist.

[𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐮𝐤𝐮𝐧𝐚 ☢ @King_Sukunaaa]

bald head ass gets whatever he wants eating wings kissing keke palmer what the fuck ever bro