Caleb Sweazy

[Caleb Sweazy @CalebSweazy]

Bonus of being at home, my twitter just got hacked and I was able to get it back after they posted two sunglasses ads. Why hack a guy who only has 76 followers and only tweets twice a year?

[Caleb Sweazy @CalebSweazy]

@joshspickler Does this apply to turn signals?

[Caleb Sweazy @CalebSweazy]

What’s the over under on the president wearing epaulets to his July 4th tank and plane parade?

[Caleb Sweazy @CalebSweazy]

@andriakbrown Add to that a belief system based on martyrdom so anytime you ask not be be harmed by their beliefs...they are the victim.

[Caleb Sweazy @CalebSweazy]

I finally realize that Sisyphus was just a dad trying to keep everyone from piling stuff on the kitchen table.

[Caleb Sweazy @CalebSweazy]

@andriakbrown @FolkAllYall I'm in touch.

[Caleb Sweazy @CalebSweazy]

@richardalley And that is how you write a resume.

[Caleb Sweazy @CalebSweazy]

Just drank whiskey, ate cheese dip and went for a run. I assume this is what health care professionals mean by "healthy balance"

[Caleb Sweazy @CalebSweazy]

@johnpaulkeith Employees must say "You Got It" every time a customer orders.

[Caleb Sweazy @CalebSweazy]

@joshspickler You should watch the doc Valley Uprising

[Caleb Sweazy @CalebSweazy]

This storm and power outage has caused lots of day drinking in Memphis. I'm no Malcom Gladwell but I'm calling birth rate spike in 9 months.

[Caleb Sweazy @CalebSweazy]

прискорбный

[Caleb Sweazy @CalebSweazy]

I really would like an explanation on why the Spurs mascot is a coyote?

[Caleb Sweazy @CalebSweazy]

I think Genobli's nose kept his face from hitting the floor.

[Caleb Sweazy @CalebSweazy]

They're announcing the lineups, Kawhi has already shot 3 free throws.

[Caleb Sweazy @CalebSweazy]

I want to tweet something funny about this officiating. Just. Not. Happening.

[Caleb Sweazy @CalebSweazy]

So far we've had ants in our Easter Eggs and I've made one kid cry. Happy Easter!

[Caleb Sweazy @CalebSweazy]

ATT texted me "happiness is a new iPhone". They're gonna have to work harder to get through my George Carlin & Bill Hicks defense system

[Caleb Sweazy @CalebSweazy]

Can someone please tell Maverick and Iceman that we are in the danger zone and they need to save us from the Russians.

[Caleb Sweazy @CalebSweazy]

To be fair, If anyone knows about fraud it would be Trump.