You can call me Al

not putting a ton of thought into this

[Benny 'SF' Rollins @citizenkawala]

LOL - acceptable

Hahaha - acceptable

😂 - acceptable

Ha ha ha - psychopath

[You can call me Al @CallMeALpls]

The Peloton ad except it’s a Nordictrack

[You can call me Al @CallMeALpls]

Oh yeah I’m a dumbass too

[You can call me Al @CallMeALpls]

Me when a politician lies: Hmm ok sounds a little weird but definitely legit...

Me when Trump lies: Ok that’s what I would say if I was lying...

[You can call me Al @CallMeALpls]

Politics is a personal thing

but I shouldn’t feel like I’m offending your god when we talk about it

[You can call me Al @CallMeALpls]

Calling something you like a “guilty pleasure” just bc you’re embarrassed about it is bullshit.

[You can call me Al @CallMeALpls]

Re: #TrumpImpeachmentHearings

I keep hearing the phrase “winning the day.”

I’m gonna set the bar at “win the day” in my daily life and see what happens...

Stay tuned.

[You can call me Al @CallMeALpls]

@henchbeaver @BeTheCookie Leave Beaver to Beaver

[You can call me Al @CallMeALpls]

Guys if Trump gets impeached what happens to Home Alone 2?

[Gilbarco Veeder-Root⛽️ @gilbarcoinc]

Things you can drop:
-the mic 🎤
-the beat🔊
-The Ergo® 75⛽️

#PerformanceinHand

[You can call me Al @CallMeALpls]

Sup buttholes

[You can call me Al @CallMeALpls]

Look ma! ONE hand! 😂 Just stumbled upon the new Ergo nozzle and it’s pretty sweet. Super easy to use

#gaspumps #gasstation #cstore #convenience #fueltech #gilbarcoveederroot #fuelretail

[You can call me Al @CallMeALpls]

At what age is it appropriate to talk to your child about ctrl+alt+delete?

[You can call me Al @CallMeALpls]

So what’s the big controversy today, buttholes?

[You can call me Al @CallMeALpls]

I thought I was special then the internet informed me that we’re all the same and have the same ideas and nothing is actually special.

[You can call me Al @CallMeALpls]

Hey. Cauliflower. Go fuck yourself

[You can call me Al @CallMeALpls]

It’s people WHO hate Susan Sarandon.

Not people THAT hate Susan Sarandon.

[You can call me Al @CallMeALpls]

Does anyone really give a shit though? Would you even want it?

[You can call me Al @CallMeALpls]

Painful watching the media slowly realize most white people from the South have said or heard someone say, “if you don’t like it, leave” and did not (and still don’t) consider it a racist trope.

[You can call me Al @CallMeALpls]

Can’t IMAGINE what’s going on in the heads of those Wrangler boycotters

[TMZ @TMZ]

Lil Nas X comes out as gay after concert in UK