Cape Codder

Don't anthropomorphize animals. They hate when you do that.

Give your pet a pat for me.

[Cape Codder @CapedCodder]

Absolutely phenomenal set by @MiddleKidsMusic at @saltshedchicago.

If you haven't heard of Middle Kids, check 'em out. Like, right now. You won't regret it - they have a sound all their own.

Keep on killin' it, guys. Looking forward to your next Chicago show!

[Cape Codder @CapedCodder]

@NoMalarkey58 @PeonyPrincess27 "Everyone I don't like is a Democrat."

I'm sure you think Pence is a Democrat now, too.

The incessant RINO whining is exhausting.

[Cape Codder @CapedCodder]

@BosSox04071318 @Poopiepoopapoo @TomiLahren Why hasn't Tomi decried Communism or Marxism while hosting a podcast episode in China or North Korea?

It's odd because I never see this weirdo decrying the government, promoting freedom of speech or being a woman in those countries.

[Cape Codder @CapedCodder]

@masonisonx @itsJohnRocker @EnesFreedom Neither.

Ill-fitting skin suit.

[Cape Codder @CapedCodder]

@itsJohnRocker @EnesFreedom I really love your Men In Black 'Edgar the Bug' costume, John.

But correct me if I'm mistaken, I thought Halloween was two weeks ago.

[Cape Codder @CapedCodder]

@SophiaAgape_ @317Donnely @LGMicahBeckwith Micah Beckwith and his consort pose a much greater threat to the state of Indiana than the Muslims that call this state/country home.

We're all tired of your bigotry and your willful ignorance of the transgressions committed by those who share your religion.

[Cape Codder @CapedCodder]

@manxykitty1968 @Camlancer8001 @imuncreative64 @MattBinder SPAM has always had classist criticisms attached to it. It's rich vs poor, not left or right.

Which, shockingly, your dumb ass is leaning all the way in to right now.

This was great. I can't wait for Nick's next expose to blow your mind.

[Cape Codder @CapedCodder]

@manxykitty1968 @Camlancer8001 @imuncreative64 @MattBinder Then don't buy it, you insufferable asshole.

People on limited budgets will often buy food with incredibly long shelf lives in bulk to save money.

You are exactly the type of person Nick's "journalism" appeals to. Have some fucking shame.

[Cape Codder @CapedCodder]

@manxykitty1968 @davideisaacson @MattBinder When was the last time you saw a major network run a story about fraud just based on vibes?

There's a reason those networks don't frequently have to run full retractions.

[Cape Codder @CapedCodder]

@ICastTrish @manxykitty1968 @Camlancer8001 @imuncreative64 @MattBinder I might as well accuse Jim Brown of raping his next door neighbor. I'll then broadcast it to my two million followers.

Later, when the neighbor who I have never spoken to says she's never even talked to Jim, says I'm wrong, I'll retract.

Integrity!

[Cape Codder @CapedCodder]

@manxykitty1968 @Camlancer8001 @imuncreative64 @MattBinder SPAM is pre-cooked. It can be prepared in numerous ways, but it is edible from the can.

Find me a pre-cooked, homemade meatloaf or meatball option.

[Cape Codder @CapedCodder]

@manxykitty1968 @Camlancer8001 @imuncreative64 @MattBinder What the fuck does that garbled ass sentence mean?

Poor people purchase shelf stable products because they are easier to store and readily able for consumption.

Raw ground beef is neither of those things.

You're talking out of your ass.

[Cape Codder @CapedCodder]

@manxykitty1968 @davideisaacson @MattBinder Nick Shirley retracting baseless accusations is not an indication that he has integrity.

It's proof of the lack of integrity in his "journalistic" process.

Your bar for these people is on the ground.

[Cape Codder @CapedCodder]

@manxykitty1968 @Camlancer8001 @imuncreative64 @MattBinder SPAM is a shelf stable meat and is far more versatile than raw ground beef.

Stop comparing it to ground beef.

Nick Shirley is an idiot. Journalists do not make baseless accusations. He's walking it back because they're threatening to sue him.

[Cape Codder @CapedCodder]

@Indy_reporter_ It's been a week and you're still pissing your pants in public.

I love every bit of this for you.

[Cape Codder @CapedCodder]

@ball_knower_ Seriously.

I can't believe the official Celtics account follows them. And it's not like they've had an account since the early days of Twitter - it's three-months old.

@celtics it's time to do some housekeeping on that following list.

[Cape Codder @CapedCodder]

@easternharps @gehrig38 It's as if we exist in an alternate reality where the timeline of Brand's "coming to faith" journey didn't occur until after the allegations against him were being whispered about.
https://t.co/19oeFNIrAB

[Munya Chawawa @munyachawawa]

Russell Brand’s convenient conversion 👀😅 #russellbrand

[Cape Codder @CapedCodder]

@gehrig38 Russell Brand hasn't been the darling of anyone except sex pests in over a decade.

I love how you take issue that the rapist is going to jail, though.

[Cape Codder @CapedCodder]

@MostlyWNBA To paraphrase Michael Scott, I want people to be afraid of how much we love Kelsey Mitchell.

That person is so toxic.

[Cape Codder @CapedCodder]

@MicahBeckwith Shitposting on the taxpayer's dime.

January 8, 2029 can't come soon enough. Although with the skeletons in your closet, I'm hopeful the day you're out of office is much sooner than that.

[Cape Codder @CapedCodder]

@Adrianmonk49 @countrxistence Did it prevent you from understanding the tweet?

You didn't even capitalize the word "I," Adrian.