1312

[1312 @CaptSpacebear]

i hope this eggplant from my work comforts you in these increasingly trying times

[. @Herrojuku]

putting Trae Young in Guantanamo is a right of passage for every great Heat defender

[jack maloney @jackmaloneycbs]

this is killing me lol i desperately need to know what ideas were shot down before they settled on this

[𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐍™ @Devon_OnEarth]

Yeah alright

[Will Sennett @Senn_Spud]

(Cognitive behavioral therapy enjoyer I just cut off in traffic) Think positively. He is probably in a rush for a reason. Maybe he’s late for a job interview. Maybe his wife is giving birth

Me: I’m da king of da highway

[Got CTE from playing Peek-a-Boo @doulbedoink]

Chinese basketball coach (beaming with pride): Get ready to learn English, buddy

[GoliathFan1952 @ByYourLogic]

journalists were tried at Nuremberg at rightly so

[Voice of Rabbis @voiceofrabbis]

Hundreds of Anti-Zionist Jews clashed with Zionist Israeli police who came to take down Palestinian flags hung by Jews in the Mea Shearim neighborhood of Jerusalem. Jews threw stones at Israeli police to prevent them from lowering the flag.

[Izzzyzzz @IzzzyzzzArt]

12 year old me sitting at the dinner table after someone on omeagle typed in my full name and IP address

[Sridhar Ramesh @RadishHarmers]

When cartoon characters discuss numbers in base ten rather than base eight, it takes me completely out of my suspension of disbelief. Their society would not have developed that way.

[dopce @chromesandwich]

Hey man, I'm stranded in Kyoto, no money, no place; I hate to do this to you, and I don't know if you're still close...but you have to call your uncle who works at Nintendo and see if he can hook me up

[Liv.e @pronouncedliv]

just landed on this plane & they talking about “everybody we have a birthday today a young man has turned 99 today!”

then after the cheers they were like “so when you get off the plane wish the captain a happy 99th birthday” all the black ppl were like aw hell naw 😭😭😭😭😭

[caroline :) @soonrightaway]

i like Blade Runner but Ridley Scott was a coward for cutting the part in Philip K Dick’s original novel where Rick Deckard’s motivation for hunting androids is because he wants to save up enough money to buy a pet ostrich

[pavlo @LaughterHaver]

Texting Twitter Girl: smoking on that dianne feinstein pack today.. bye bitch 😂🍻🤣ass pic to celebrate?

*realizing I accidentally texted a NORMAL girl instead* Just an example of the hateful rhetoric Bernie Bros are spewing on Twitter :/ ass pic to calm my nerves?

[wint @dril]

been gaming surrounded by Black Mold for 30 yrs. so when i game in a clean room its like the training weights come off & i become full power

[1312 @CaptSpacebear]

@ptricia00 This is dope

[1312 @CaptSpacebear]

@SammAshley @bobby Sucks your baby has to deal with a sack of taters for a mom

[bobby @bobby]

if you don’t return your shopping cart you are sincerely and without qualification a massive fucking loser. one of the most obvious red flags for a lazy, selfish person. government-mandated dunce caps for these assholes.

[Coney @CONEY]

This popup would make me commit violent crimes