Alex H

Sometimes my brain says words to my thumbs, and those thumbs say those words to you. You can read them, if you'd like.

[Alex H @CaptainAheb]

@blood_soaked Tell them they can only eat there if they give you money after. Pay for their sins like the old Catholic indulgences

[Fred Delicious 🍆 @Fred_Delicious]

my man unironically tweeted a System of a Down lyric

[thucksgiving @TylerHuckabee]

Christians on this website are literally like "we can't just FORGIVE our DEBTORS"

[Alex H @CaptainAheb]

@povaristocrat @ApexJones22 @NoContextHumans Pretty sure black people are allowed to be offended by slurs regardless of where they live. Goofy ass

[Dan Price @DanPriceSeattle]

probably the best commercial on television is the TurboTax one where the keep saying "free free file for free" when
1. It is virtually impossible to file for free with TurboTax
2. TurboTax heavy lobbying is the reason we're the only country where you can't file taxes for free

[peon flux @PeonFlux]

you said Iraq had weapons of mass destruction

[Mike Figueredo @HumanistReport]

A tale of two Americas:

[Alex H @CaptainAheb]

@totocommapeter sister's dog got prescribed xanax, vet sat her down and said "please don't take these yourself, they're *stronger than regular xanax*"

[Ari Drennen @AriDrennen]

The TSA wouldn’t let a 15-year-old trans girl fly unless she would let an adult agent inspect her genitals. Her mother is suing to prevent this from happening to another trans kid.

[Julián Kianí @JulianKiani]

My Fall Plans The Delta Variant

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Man Knows He Must Ride Unexpected Urge To Clean As Far As It Will Take Him https://t.co/896st5cEVr

[Marlow Stern @MarlowNYC]

this is what caitlyn jenner did after killing someone with her car

[Alex H @CaptainAheb]

@pobregizmo @RightWingCope Lol why did they *erase* Gayroller2000®? What a strange choice

[Alex H @CaptainAheb]

@literalwhitedad I mainly boiled my pieces, but it's a huge pain in the ass if you have any pieces with percolators