¢αρтαιη ѕℓαρнєα∂

Bald, Fat, Widower. Standard Twitter disclaimer here.

[¢αρтαιη ѕℓαρнєα∂ @Captain_Slapead]

@MartinSLewis I'm a Barclays customer - I didn't see accounts or transactions, but I did receive a Notification of an overnight balance far more than I actually have (about £5,000 more).

[¢αρтαιη ѕℓαρнєα∂ @Captain_Slapead]

@JohnHanzl @TerribleMaps The urban myth in London some 30-years ago, was 7 times.

[¢αρтαιη ѕℓαρнєα∂ @Captain_Slapead]

@Baddiel @guardian @Channel4 It's not often that Twitter presents me with synergy, but when it does...

[¢αρтαιη ѕℓαρнєα∂ @Captain_Slapead]

I so rarely post here, but when I do...

[¢αρтαιη ѕℓαρнєα∂ @Captain_Slapead]

...and as if by magic, they're showing again. I shall try to finish the order for tomorrow now.

[¢αρтαιη ѕℓαρнєα∂ @Captain_Slapead]

@Tesco I've gone onto your (Android) app, to finish off my delivery order for tomorrow, and all my future deliveries - including tomorrow's - have vanished.

[¢αρтαιη ѕℓαρнєα∂ @Captain_Slapead]

@heartshapedoll >.< and my first thoughts were "ooo moist". I apologise.

[¢αρтαιη ѕℓαρнєα∂ @Captain_Slapead]

@Sandford_Police Here you are - 2 newts.

[¢αρтαιη ѕℓαρнєα∂ @Captain_Slapead]

@Gen_Kitchen_MP At this point, it's no longer a road surface - it's a collection of failed past patches, interspersed with potholes.

As much as a pain in the bum that it'll be, Boundary Avenue needs to be completely and properly resurfaced.

[¢αρтαιη ѕℓαρнєα∂ @Captain_Slapead]

@fesshole I'm notorious for (attempting to) type properly on any message - SMS, WhatsApp, Private Message.

In my head, it's demonstrating that the recipient is worth the effort.

[¢αρтαιη ѕℓαρнєα∂ @Captain_Slapead]

@heartshapedoll Interesting idea for a draft excluder...

[¢αρтαιη ѕℓαρнєα∂ @Captain_Slapead]

@The_Ambassador_ Number 11 has remarkably aerodynamic testicles (I suspect my autism is showing a little there, much like his testicles).

[¢αρтαιη ѕℓαρнєα∂ @Captain_Slapead]

@RBoldan @RAF_Cosford @RAF_Luton I believe a Canberra flew in through an open window and took the picture.

[¢αρтαιη ѕℓαρнєα∂ @Captain_Slapead]

@The_Ambassador_ "Coercive Control"

[¢αρтαιη ѕℓαρнєα∂ @Captain_Slapead]

@heartshapedoll ...end up being messy. But the one thing that's a waste of time is thinking about the upset itself. Like a bad stomach, it will pass by itself. Gawd, I sound like a shaolin monk.

Hope it passes soon. Love your fashion and humour. Happy you day.

[¢αρтαιη ѕℓαρнєα∂ @Captain_Slapead]

@heartshapedoll The best analogy I know to describe & explain is - you have a badly upset stomach. Gas, pain, the works. While you can spend some time thinking about "how" it happened, you're best spending the time dealing/preparing for the impact. It'll hurt, it will be smelly and it may...

[¢αρтαιη ѕℓαρнєα∂ @Captain_Slapead]

@notaguru3 My first car lease ends in Feb'25 - is there any advantage to staying with the same Lease Company (Arval, as it happens), or is it like Gas/Electric suppliers and just shop for cheapest deal?

[¢αρтαιη ѕℓαρнєα∂ @Captain_Slapead]

@RevRichardColes @BallymaloeCS Again, it's the back-story as to 'why' such a sign is needed...

...does Doreen leap across the counter, rugby-tackling to the floor anyone who dares to take the floral?

[¢αρтαιη ѕℓαρнєα∂ @Captain_Slapead]

@The_Ambassador_ I am 8-months older than my niece, who might have been brought up as my sister, which is all very EastEnders.

[¢αρтαιη ѕℓαρнєα∂ @Captain_Slapead]

@rainbowlollies "Nice boat. It would be a shame if someone pecked off the prop, bit holes in the side and crapped all over the deck... "