Carlos Fitton

[Zoska 🐴 🦈 @TotallyNotZoska]

Russian officials have biologically evolved to be harder to push out of windows.

[PAPI ACE | FREE BY CHOICE @AceFreeByChoice]

Salmonella is salmonellaing in things that have never been salmonellaed before

[evan loves worf @esjesjesj]

Donald Trump raped people

[liam cunningham @liamcunningham1]

If you find yourself asking why isn’t the world doing something to stop the genocide in Gaza and you have not spoken up, they are taking your silence as approval. Whether you’ve 2 or 2 million followers speak up FFS!
Silence is complicity.

[Count Binface @CountBinface]

Checkmate, Nige.

[Politics UK @PolitlcsUK]

🚨 WATCH: Count Binface responds to Nigel Farage calling him the "establishment candidate"

"That's interesting, isn't it? Because one of the candidates was a sitting MP, formerly an MEP and the architect of Brexit... if that's not the establishment, I'd like to know what is"

[Count Binface @CountBinface]

I came first in the Clacton by-election! Of the candidates who bothered to turn up for the results. Here is my victory speech!

[Joseph Gellman @joseph_gellman]

In the UK, infrastructure is blocked by adult children who can’t get over a mediocre fantasy book series written two decades ago

[Clothes-Minded Individual @NBABabySecret]

When everyone thinks you are senile, a good strategy is to invoke your hatred of windmills, as there are no famous literary parallels to this

[Irene @irenarcaa]

a veces dudo entre si es así de tonta, es una emisaria de satán o es ragebait

[Alberto Vila @albertovila .bsky.social SIGUEME AHÍ @reseneka]

Encuentra las diferencias... @joaquinkremel @caval100 @m

[Neil Renic @NC_Renic]

Modern academic: “my heavily qualified argument marginally advances the sub-discipline”

19th century academic: “my treatise, inspired by yesterday’s walk, revolutionizes philosophy, religion, and music. My critics are intellectually and sexually disordered”

[Noah Lenz @itsnoahlenz]

In America, you need to take out a loan to order a burrito

[Acyn @Acyn]

Trump: Wow… Everything’s computer

[Roxy @RoxyTall]

all this because she got a PhD. men deserve their loneliness

[Nadeem Ahmed @Muqadaam]

Jeremy Corbyn : “if we ignore whats happening to the Palestinian people then we become complicit"

Retweet if you agree with him