Carrin Unicorhino

Unicorning wherever allowed. Torturing my coworkers. Karen Walker is my idol.

[Carrin Unicorhino @Carrin_Is_Real]

@ambersplace @jwebb058 @mental_floss YAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I'm finally getting some recognition!

[Amber Lee @ambersplace]

@jwebb058 "@mental_floss: 10 Magical Facts About Unicorns — http://t.co/aQW0es5zku"

[Carrin Unicorhino @Carrin_Is_Real]

@jaybrannan is following me. I can now stop drinking. HA who am I kidding, I'd never do that. Maybe if I met him... Nah.

[Carrin Unicorhino @Carrin_Is_Real]

Flew past an AA meeting on my way home. They had doughnuts. It was tough, but I managed to avoid it. #NotTodaySatan

[Carrin Unicorhino @Carrin_Is_Real]

CHRIST ON A STICK I JUST WANT SOME GOD DAMNED VODKA

[Carrin Unicorhino @Carrin_Is_Real]

I KILLED SIRIUS BLACK I KILLED SIRIUS BLACK ahahaahahhahhaahahhaahahhah

[Carrin Unicorhino @Carrin_Is_Real]

Hey... Can I borrow your throat for a minute?

[Carrin Unicorhino @Carrin_Is_Real]

WESTBORO I'M COMING FOR YOU! How do you feel about interracial unicorn on rhino action?

[Carrin Unicorhino @Carrin_Is_Real]

Chow Down at Chik Filet? If they don't like the gays they sure as hell won't appreciate me vomiting rainbows

[Carrin Unicorhino @Carrin_Is_Real]

My heart goes out to Po lil tink tink. I've also suffered the debilitating loss of a body part. I sold my kidney for whiskey

[Carrin Unicorhino @Carrin_Is_Real]

Michelle Obama and I are bros. I too love turnips.

Soaked in vodka.

[Carrin Unicorhino @Carrin_Is_Real]

OH MY GOD. Why am I still drunk?! I swear it was only a handle..... I can't office today

[Carrin Unicorhino @Carrin_Is_Real]

I wish I was buff like my half brother Rhinocer-Smith.

[Carrin Unicorhino @Carrin_Is_Real]

Narwhals are my long lost brothers of the sea

[Carrin Unicorhino @Carrin_Is_Real]

TWITTER I HAVE ARRIVED. My drunken rage begins

[Carrin Unicorhino @Carrin_Is_Real]

@jwebb058 and @Krystal_Almost_ are rude. I'm moving into your office. I'll see you bright and early at 1PM sharp tomorrow.

[Carrin Unicorhino @Carrin_Is_Real]

@Krystal_Almost_ @jwebb058 YOU'RE BOTH BITCHES. I'M NEVER COMING TO WORK AGAIN #sodone #CantEven