Carroll Burnet

Not the funny lady. It's a family name. Big fan of the white guy in Invictus, airport Chili's, and sweater weather.

[Carroll Burnet @CarrollBurnet]

This guy gets it.

[Mike Elgan @MikeElgan]

If elected politicians can literally post anything on social networks, then later get a pass for saying: "might not have been my staff, not me" then we are in big trouble.

[Carroll Burnet @CarrollBurnet]

@patscap In this situation, do they have a couple of 'reworked deals' in their pocket, waiting to be announced?

Or is there a simple cut/trade that makes them compliant for draft pick signing and any reworked deal(s) for in season flexibility come in camp?

[Carroll Burnet @CarrollBurnet]

@GenWmTSherman Marge's Lawyer: Remember, the only way we can lose is perjury. Just say 'I'm not answering that question'. This isn't a real trial! You don't recall! We practiced this. You're gonna do great.

LATER THAT DAY:

[Carroll Burnet @CarrollBurnet]

@ArakisJ @RexChapman Keanu Reaves and Gene Hackman (~1:50) on sports, life, and fear. And recovery, second chances, and winning tomorrow.

"Then one thing goes wrong. Then another. And another. You try to fight back, but the harder you fight the deeper you sink. QUICKSAND."

https://t.co/BrlrCD20j8

[Arrested Development @bluthquotes]

Everyone's laughing, and riding, and cornholing except Buster.

[Carroll Burnet @CarrollBurnet]

@thesarahyork

[matthew. @iAmTheWarax]

the girl scouts

[Caroline Orr Bueno, Ph.D @RVAwonk]

This, this, this, exactly. The point of disinformation is not to convince you that a particular falsehood is true — the point is to confuse and overwhelm you until you don’t know *what* is true, and to exhaust you until you stop trying to figure it out.

[Carroll Burnet @CarrollBurnet]

I have no idea what anyone here was thinking, especially the catcher.

Dude, you have ONE JOB in this situation: stay between your guy and the guy who's mad at your guy.

[Jared Carrabis @Jared_Carrabis]

We got a legit BRAWL at the Sea Dogs game. Holy shit.

[Carroll Burnet @CarrollBurnet]

@ThisBarbara Your neighbor sounds dumb.

You can do this.

[Carroll Burnet @CarrollBurnet]

Amazing plan. I'm sure taxpayers will be thrilled.

"That means that Orange and Osceola would be on the hook for Disney’s $2 billion bond debt, which figures out to an additional tax bill for each county taxpayer estimated to be between $2,200 and $2,800 per family of four."

[Sarah Rumpf 🇺🇸❤️🇺🇦 @rumpfshaker]

Conservative Media Cheering DeSantis Crackdown on Disney Are Ignoring What a Catastrophe It Would Be for Florida https://t.co/xOAlYhgC0D via @mediaite #sayfie #ReedyCreek #flapol

[Carroll Burnet @CarrollBurnet]

"If Hannibal Lecter could run a 4.3 40, we'd probably diagnose it as an eating disorder." - Steve Keim

[Pro Football Hall of Fame @ProFootballHOF]

The best quote in NFL history is ___________?

[Carroll Burnet @CarrollBurnet]

I was thinking today of how much time is spent patiently explaining SHIT THAT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS and identified my emotion as "frivolously vexed".

And here's an illustrative example. First rule of civilization club: don't make bad shit worse.

[William B. Fuckley @opinonhaver]

“DOXXING” is a recurring fear of many on the right not due to any principled commitment for privacy but because people who call gay teachers pedophiles want to be welcome in polite company among people who rightfully consider that abhorrent bigotry. That’s really just it.

[toomas hendrik ilves @IlvesToomas]

What war criminals don’t realize is that they indeed will get old but the children of their victims will not forget. Old age will be painful for those butchers Putin just rewarded for their rape and torture in Bucha. Revenge will follow them for as long as they live. Ask Nazis.

[Carroll Burnet @CarrollBurnet]

"But what Republicans can't do is the one thing they desperately want: Get the public to agree with their theocratic, backwards views. They are creating a lot of pointless trouble, but in the process, end up reminding most people of how awful conservatives truly are."

[Carroll Burnet @CarrollBurnet]

Thumbs. We aren't smarter, we just have thumbs.

[Carroll Burnet @CarrollBurnet]

Great thread.

[Katie Mack @AstroKatie]

Today in my general relativity class I got to talk about my favorite SUPER WEIRD COSMOLOGY FACT which is that if you have galaxies of the same size at different distances, beyond a certain distance, the farther away the galaxy is the BIGGER it appears in the sky (!!!)

[Carroll Burnet @CarrollBurnet]

Yay. A broken and awful system has gotten worse.

[Andrew Brandt @AndrewBrandt]

Heard from a longtime NFL agent this week re NIL. He said:
"Andrew, we used to have to fund these kids for years until their NFL contract. Now the school boosters do it. It's saving us so much money. It's awesome!"

[Carroll Burnet @CarrollBurnet]

"Hate wins when people like me stand by and let it happen. I won't."

[Mallory McMorrow @MalloryMcMorrow]

Senator Lana Theis accused me by name of grooming and sexualizing children in an attempt to marginalize me for standing up against her marginalizing the LGBTQ community...in a fundraising email, for herself.

Hate wins when people like me stand by and let it happen. I won't.