Carsen Smith

writer for @ucbcomedy / @reductress / @penguinbooks

[Carsen Smith @CarsenASmith]

every time I see a brick wall I think why didn’t they just make one big brick? morons

[Benny Feldman @Feldfrog]

Skin is the largest organ of the human body. Until now . Introducing some sort of big purple one

[Reductress @Reductress]

Why I’m Not Having Kids Because I Can’t Go Nine Months Without Riding a Rollercoaster: https://t.co/iA1Or7YtOk

[Carsen Smith @CarsenASmith]

@chestysquidders tod and patty getting the love they deserve

[The Onion @TheOnion]

From The Archives: NFL Announces Jacksonville Jaguars To Play 16 Games In London Next Season https://t.co/6V8F2V0Smz

[Carsen Smith @CarsenASmith]

whenever a person on the subway gets up to give their seat to a pregnant lady, I push them back down so she can take my seat instead

[Carsen Smith @CarsenASmith]

whoever named this city in Canada was friggin diabolical

[Carsen Smith @CarsenASmith]

@WontCrossLaBrea same :/ my doctor said it’s because I’m stupid

[Carsen Smith @CarsenASmith]

two pairs of pockets is a blessing. anymore than that and it’s a curse

[Carsen Smith @CarsenASmith]

(seeing my apartment in Brooklyn as i fly into LaGuardia)
sir, can you let me out here?

[Carsen Smith @CarsenASmith]

I fixed the NFL

[Carsen Smith @CarsenASmith]

criminals are so gross. who goes around just leaving fingerprints on everything? like jfc wash your hands

[Alex Wolfe @alexwolfepack]

Calling all cryptic lovers! Check out this amazing cover from @peturantonsson for the second book in the Area 51 Interns series, ZONED OUT, by @jamessmurray and @CarsenASmith!

[Carsen Smith @CarsenASmith]

all food should just come cut up. you know I’m not gonna eat that thing in one bite

[Carsen Smith @CarsenASmith]

whoever invented wet socks was dumb

[Carsen Smith @CarsenASmith]

@cutestboy1996 this deserves at least 20 likes

[Hewlett Elementary @HES1929]

So exciting to welcome Murr from Impractical Jokers to HES today! He and co-author, Carsen Smith, got kids excited about reading and their new book, Area 51 Interns! #HESCARES @jamessmurray @CarsenASmith

[Murr @jamessmurray]

Amazing day visiting Hewlett HS & Hewlett Elementary School celebrating the release of AREA 51 INTERNS! Get an autographed copy here: https://t.co/vWeQfUVeMq Want me to visit YOUR school virtually or in person? Visit https://t.co/vWeQfUVeMq right now! @penguinkids @CarsenASmith

[Penguin Kids @penguinkids]

👽Area 51 is looking for interns! In this new series by Murr from the Impractical Jokers, a group of kids work together to defend Area 51 against escaped aliens! Don't miss AREA 51 INTERNS: ALIEN SUMMER by @jamessmurray & @CarsenASmith, out now!

➡️ https://t.co/auFvhcgjs7

[Carsen Smith @CarsenASmith]

@remiwolf Girl what r u doing in an Uber/lyft? Lemme pay for your private pick up