Carson

I'm a scholar, I enjoy scholarly pursuits. I also do taxes for fun.

[Carson @CarsonHaury]

Fighting the daily urge to burn my career to the ground because I know the IRS isn't a real organization.

[Carson @CarsonHaury]

I make a pretty princess

[Carson @CarsonHaury]

A story in four parts.

[Carson @CarsonHaury]

Coming home everyday just to see that my cat once again pulled all the clothes out of my dresser is my 13th reason.

[Carson @CarsonHaury]

Before I can die happy, I want to know what will happen to Drew Barrymore in 50 First Dates if she stays up all night. Does she just immediately forget everything at the strick of 12? Does it break the spell? Or do her memories go away once she inevitably falls back to sleep?

[Carson @CarsonHaury]

Only Black Friday shopping I did was pickup my prescription and those mfers at Walgreens didn't even give me a good deal.

[Carson @CarsonHaury]

A little over two months before student loan payments resume and I have to assume a new identity.

[Carson @CarsonHaury]

Jamming to Glee while I drive is always a dangerous affair as I become prone to disregard the speed limit and other cars.

[Carson @CarsonHaury]

@jmiIIs Anytime my boy. One does not truly live until they have tasted the dust left behind by the mighty Minnesota mom.

[Carson @CarsonHaury]

Bruh, Moms have got walking down to a T. They be leaving me in their dust with their speedy strides. So envious.

[Carson @CarsonHaury]

I do not fear death.

[Carson @CarsonHaury]

You're just fooling yourself if you thought it was a great date when it didn't end with you getting a $200 hooded cloak to use for D&D

[Carson @CarsonHaury]

Ever wipe your ass only to realize too late that your cat bit holes into the toilet paper? No? Me neither.

[Carson @CarsonHaury]

Excited to announce that I've finally developed an adult palate and stopped eating chicken tenders everyday. Its been a year long journey.

[Carson @CarsonHaury]

Who's the bastard that got my cat to develop the kink of liking his ass slapped? Lord knows it wasn't me and I'm scared.

[Carson @CarsonHaury]

@jmiIIs Appreciate it sweetie

[Carson @CarsonHaury]

Keep an eye out for my upcoming series.

[Carson @CarsonHaury]

True companionship

[Carson @CarsonHaury]

@Breannag7 I'm what they call a culinary artist

[Carson @CarsonHaury]

yep, made another weird food video because I have nothing better to do with my time.