Cassidy

[Cassidy @Cassidy9114]

@nationalgrid @nationalgridus Your phone system sucks. Can't speak to a person, ok fine. Phone system "reported the outage" hours ago but it's still not on the map. It's been 24 hours. Customer service is closed until Monday, sorry, then the line goes dead...

[Cassidy @Cassidy9114]

How many times the SuperBowl halftime show has been my preferred artist: zero

How many times I've made it other people's problems or concern: also zero.

[Cassidy @Cassidy9114]

@BradfemlyWalsh If someone, like my sister offers to carry my child, is that still "buying another woman's body"?

[Cassidy @Cassidy9114]

@Enterprise is more expensive but hands down the best option. I'll never use Hertz again. Can't contact them easily, don't actually reserve the car you paid for, incompetent staff, absolute trash.

[Jules Suzdaltsev @jules_su]

Bro, I literally can’t stand renting from @Hertz I literally have THREE reservations at multiple locations and every one I’ve showed up at says they have no cars at all, and that reservations aren’t guaranteed.

ALL of the employees are like, “Yeah it’s a huge problem for us, this happens all the time, and corporate will let anyone book anything online whether we have cars or not.”

And since it’s literally the day after Christmas, booking through anyone else right now is like $1,200 a week. Psychotic. I hate this company so much.

[Cassidy @Cassidy9114]

@LuvXmaiko Shirley, Marion, Ruthie, Hope, Joanne, Lucy, Ann/Annie 💞

[Hayden @the_transit_guy]

There is no comedy in my lifetime that will be funnier than this moment.

[Cassidy @Cassidy9114]

@Gr3ant @cristela9 I think it would be pretty obvious to determine the difference between a human and a metal robot.

[positive side of X 🌞 @positivityofx]

Getting a cat:

My depression : 📉📉📉📉
Crime rate in my house :📈📈📈📈

[Cassidy @Cassidy9114]

I'm going over there and getting my car back. You can't just give away someone's car without the title. Tf. She shoulda divorced him twice.

[Pop Crave @PopCrave]

Kim Kardashian to ‘Call Her Daddy’ on dealing with Kanye West’s mental episodes:

"I would like come home, and we had like five Lamborghinis and I'd come home and they'd all be gone if he was in an episode. And I'd be like, 'Oh, wait. Where's all our cars? Like, my new car?' And it would be like, ‘oh, he gave them away to all of his friends.’”

[Cassidy @Cassidy9114]

Just don't let it fall on the floor so you step on it first thing the next morning... but I wouldn't know...

[johnnaaaaa. @lowkeyjohnnap]

I slept with an uncrustable tucked under my pillow last night because I was waiting for it to unfreeze and passed out.

[Cassidy @Cassidy9114]

Lmao

[Cassidy @Cassidy9114]

Life just hasn't been the same since George O'malley died. I really couldn't believe it.

[Sean T at RCP @SeanTrende]

My ongoing war with the HOA may be about to reach a new, critical phase.

[JL @JLas43_]

“You better not get too fucked up at Chili’s!”

Me after 15 min at Chili’s:

[☔ @Whotfismick]

“finally a day off”

my day off:

[Jenni @hashjenni]

that urge to nap between 3pm - 5pm is no joke

[𝟮𝟭.🛸 @Big_tagg]

i miss skipping school. calling out of work is too serious

[Cassidy @Cassidy9114]

Fair

[gabriela 📚 @chaimartini]

my coworker broke up with her boyfriend because he believes that the rapture already happened and we're the chosen ones. he thinks this is heaven

[Cassidy @Cassidy9114]

Why was my first thought this is @JasonKelce coming home from the bar lmao

[Wolf of X @WolfofX]

And this, ladies and gentlemen, demonstrates the proper technique for sitting down