A lot of adults don't better themselves??? and have no intention of growth or healing??? just living their lives with horribłe communication skills, lack of emotional intelligence, selfishness, and hurt feelings FOREVER?????
My lukewarm take is that sometimes you need a relationship that makes you feel so safe that you let yourself unravel. So not a person who triggers you into the work but someone who gives you a safe landing for the work to reveal itself.
When Lauryn Hill said “it could all be so simple”she wasn't lying. Reciprocity between two people who want something to work is so simple. It's as easy as breathing.