Chad. @ChadLegear - Twitter Profile

ChadLegear retweeted

Jamie Lynch @jelynchjr

1 day ago

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ChadLegear retweeted

ClickHole

@ClickHole

1 day ago

Hiya! Tom Holland here. Television’s Spiderman. It’s a commonly held belief that wetting the bed means you’re weak. A goofy little child. A grody old man covered in sores. A worthless baby! Not being able to hold your pee in is seen as a sign that your pee muscles are weak or that you’ve got a real little bitch of a bladder. This couldn’t be more idiotic and stupid as hell!! I’ve got news for you: Wetting the bed means you’re really strong! It doesn’t matter what society or much less your wife says. Being unable to hold your urine overnight while sleeping means that you are as strong as it gets and that you are a GREAT person. I’m not going to get into the science of it all, because no one would understand it anyway. But basically, only the strongest of people piss their beds or “can’t hold it” on long car rides and wet themselves while driving. Your wife might say otherwise. She might say, “You need to go to a doctor about this, Tom,” or “Why don’t you try emptying your bladder right before bed?” Blah blah blah. She says these things because she’s never been with a strong man before. Her old boyfriend, Jacob, never let even a drizzle of pee out of his penis at night. She grew to believe that meant he was “strong.” But he wasn’t. He sucked. If your idea of “normal” is waking up in a dry bed and NOT smelling urine (i.e., “waking up weak”) you may want to ask yourself where that idea came from. Opening your eyes in the morning and declaring, “Oh great, I pissed the bed again,” it is a sign of strength, courage, and fortitude. Not weakness, as some liars would have you believe. Ancient Samoan warriors pissed the bed 15, 20 times a night. And their piss was THICK. You don’t see anyone calling them “weak.” Does having large muscles and being able to lift heavy weights make one “strong?" Or does strength come from within, and then that strength pushes your pee out all over your mattress, sheets, and comforter? Every smart person agrees that more strength comes from leaving a hotel bed soaked in gallons of piss because you drank five to six Gatorades right before bed and were too sleepy to get up and hit the toilet before bed than lifting weights ever will. And that’s not only a fact, but it’s true.