25% More Sarcasm

A fresh start on Twitter. Same sarcasm, less family. Let's have fun.

[25% More Sarcasm @ChangingOutfits]

@MrRaceBannon I don't retain water like that. Thankfully.

[Lisa Champney @ChampneyLisa]

#TheBunnyBroughtMe
Easter Peeps.

[25% More Sarcasm @ChangingOutfits]

So I just ordered a pizza and told them to hold the corona.

[25% More Sarcasm @ChangingOutfits]

#HowToSummonMe

Covfefe

[25% More Sarcasm @ChangingOutfits]

#HowToSummonMe

Crash into my house.

[25% More Sarcasm @ChangingOutfits]

#HowToSummonMe

By yelling JEANNIE!

[25% More Sarcasm @ChangingOutfits]

#HowToSummonMe

With more cowbell baby!

[25% More Sarcasm @ChangingOutfits]

#RevengeIsSweeterWhen you do it on a Monday morning.

[25% More Sarcasm @ChangingOutfits]

#RevengeIsSweeterWhen it's not happening to you.

[25% More Sarcasm @ChangingOutfits]

#ThingsToNeverTweetAbout

My tweets, apparently.

[25% More Sarcasm @ChangingOutfits]

Affairs you've had at work.

#ThingsToNeverTweetAbout

[25% More Sarcasm @ChangingOutfits]

All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten except #ThingsToNeverTweetAbout

[25% More Sarcasm @ChangingOutfits]

If you pass Go, you collect $200.

#RejectedTrafficLaws

[25% More Sarcasm @ChangingOutfits]

Pizza delivery vehicles have the same rights as ambulances.

#RejectedTrafficLaws

[25% More Sarcasm @ChangingOutfits]

Drivers who give their vehicle a set of balls should be castrated.

#RejectedTrafficLaws

[25% More Sarcasm @ChangingOutfits]

#RejectedTrafficLaws

More traffic signals could only make things better.

[25% More Sarcasm @ChangingOutfits]

#MyBossThinks I'm a woman. But he never hits on me, hmph!

[25% More Sarcasm @ChangingOutfits]

#MyBossThinks there was plenty of room on that raft for two people.

[25% More Sarcasm @ChangingOutfits]

#MyBossThinks but not very often.

[25% More Sarcasm @ChangingOutfits]

#MyBossThinks I don't know he's a slacker.