The company hired me to lead their "Agile Transformation."
I don't know what Agile means.
Nobody does.
That's why it works.
I make $425,000 a year.
To move sticky notes.
From left to right.
On a board.
The board is digital now.
The sticky notes cost $80,000 in Jira licenses.
Progress.
Day one, I said "we need to break down silos."
Everyone nodded.
Silos are bad.
I don't know why.
But destroying them is a career.
My career.
I introduced "squads."
Squads are teams.
But disrupted.
We disrupted the teams into teams.
Different names.
Same people.
Same problems.
But Agile problems now.
Agile problems are strategic.
A senior engineer asked what we're actually changing.
I said, "The mindset."
He asked what that means.
I said, "It's a journey."
He asked where we're going.
I said, "Toward agility."
He asked what agility means.
I pointed at the sticky notes.
They were moving left to right.
That's velocity.
We have velocity now.
The VP of Engineering said two-week sprints don't fit their work.
I said, "That's waterfall thinking."
Waterfall is bad.
Like silos.
I don't know what waterfall is.
But I know it's bad.
She stopped talking.
Waterfall accusations end conversations.
We had a retrospective.
In the retro, we discussed what went wrong.
Everything went wrong.
We put it on sticky notes.
Then we moved the sticky notes.
Into a column called "Parking Lot."
The Parking Lot is where problems go to die.
It's full.
We don't look at it.
That's agile.
Velocity is up 40%.
I defined velocity.
I also defined the points.
I also defined the stories.
We're crushing it.
At the things I made up.
To measure.
Ourselves.
The CEO asked for ROI.
I showed a chart.
The chart went up.
Charts should go up.
This one did.
I didn't label the Y-axis.
Nobody asked.
Leadership is confidence.
We do standups now.
Every day.
We stand.
For 45 minutes.
Standing is agile.
Sitting is waterfall.
My legs hurt.
But we're transforming.
The transformation is now "Phase 3."
Phase 1 was assessment.
Phase 2 was implementation.
Phase 3 is "continuous improvement."
Continuous means forever.
Forever means job security.
I'm very secure.
My contract was extended.
Three more years.
For "cultural impact."
The culture is confused.
But impacted.
Agile transformation isn't about being agile.
It's about transforming.
Continuously.
Toward more transformation.
The destination is the journey.
The journey is billable.
It is undeniably epic that England have spent years on selections who will be Good in Australia, resting players, millions on contracts, developing a weird cult ethos. All for these Ashes. And now that construct is being casually annihilated by a decent Aussie B team
There was a time when the AFL led the world in taking on racism in sport. And here we are, the treatment of Adam Goodes laid bare for all to see. The leadership failed Adam and an apology is not enough, heads should roll and give someone who cares a go.
remember that time they wiretapped the cabinet rooms in timor leste, used the intel to help the gas industry rip off the timorese, lied about it and went after the whistleblowers and their lawyers, all in the name of "national security"?
While people are morning Opportunity remember that it was a robot built by humans and operated by humans at an average distance of 225M km (140M miles) with no chance to touch it directly, for 15 years, **sixty** times its design lifetime. Bravo humans, and what a Space Odyssey!
‘It feels like I’m at a firefighters conference and no one’s allowed to speak about water.’ — This historian wasn’t afraid to confront the billionaires at Davos about their greed
It took just one heatwave to kill about 34 per cent of the spectacled flying foxes in Australia. If this is the rate at which we're losing the natural world now imagine what we will lose without urgent action to tackle climate change. #StopAdani
https://t.co/yTNUuAEUdK
Cotton a massive part of problem:
20,000 litres water produces just 1kg of cotton (roughly 1 T-shirt & a pair of jeans)
Consumes 26% of irrigation water for only 8% share total export $’s
Produces only $669 value per megalitre water. (Compared to $8,409 Beef, $8,362 Veggies)
Is there anything worse than getting out of bed in the summer, as hung as a goat, crawling onto the couch, settling into watching some test match cricket in an attempt to survive the day, and seeing white tarps spread over the field? Answer - No there isn’t.
Is there any other industry that has created 10,000 new jobs in rural Australia in the last 12 months? $15b worth of wind & solar projects is creating a jobs boom.