Chief Sarcasm

The advice I give is always given in the most loving and appropriate way. It's almost like a kiss on the forehead...but with a hammer.

[Chief Sarcasm @ChiefSarcasm]

I love our #candidates. It's like choosing which #STD to get. One can burn really bad, while the other can cause breakouts. #trump #hillary

[Chief Sarcasm @ChiefSarcasm]

You should keep #smoking. I hear it's what the #cool #kids do. Also, someday, you'll get to drag around a cool o2 bottle. #sarcasm #cough

[Chief Sarcasm @ChiefSarcasm]

@ScotsFyre My bet is that @HillaryClinton wishes she was able to delete her email account before she broke the law. #prison

[Chief Sarcasm @ChiefSarcasm]

@HillaryClinton @realDonaldTrump Delete his account like you wanted to delete you #emails? #illegal #prison #takeyourownadvice

[Chief Sarcasm @ChiefSarcasm]

@HillaryClinton @afdhere Yes, even become president. Except this election year because Hillary is so amazing at being so amazing. #sarcasm

[Chief Sarcasm @ChiefSarcasm]

#Mexico and #Mexicans must love @realDonaldTrump to vote him in. @NotReallyDT #sarcasm #scary #2016 https://t.co/Wwrdusg4TW

[The Associated Press @AP]

BREAKING: Trump wins GOP primary in New Mexico. @AP race call at 9:23 p.m. EDT. #Election2016 #APracecall

[Chief Sarcasm @ChiefSarcasm]

@FoxNews @realDonaldTrump @NotReallyDT Trump, you always sound extremely intelligent. Great job. Just a really great job. #sarcasm #trump

[NotReallyDonaldTrump @NotReallyDT]

"I'm not THAT #racist. I just think #white people are just #incredible. Just great. Really, really #great people."

#trump #whites #race

[Chief Sarcasm @ChiefSarcasm]

Big #congrats to @HilaryNot @HillaryClinton on the #delegates. Super excited for the future of our country. #sarcasm #America #welose #crap

[Chief Sarcasm @ChiefSarcasm]

Can we elect that guy at Target who's really nice and accepts expired coupons instead? #target @Target #trump #hillary #president #nosarcasm

[Chief Sarcasm @ChiefSarcasm]

"Nobody should #text and #drive...except me. I'm really good at it." -Most #drivers

#betterthanyou #safetext #cars #safe #doingitnow #girls

[Chief Sarcasm @ChiefSarcasm]

#Complaint- "Why do I feel like crap all of the time?"

#Solution- Put down the bag of #Cheetos and can of #coke and go run a lap. #gym #yum

[Chief Sarcasm @ChiefSarcasm]

Here's some #advice-

If you need gap insurance, you are spending too much and you should save more to put down. #America #debt #money #cash

[Chief Sarcasm @ChiefSarcasm]

@gabikakerz Thanks for the advice, but I'm gonna, "b wat I wanna do." Not being a jerk, just speaking the truth. #speakingadultisattractive

[Chief Sarcasm @ChiefSarcasm]

@gabikakerz So glad you sound so #intelligent. Makes you soooo much more #attractive. You should keep speaking #ghetto.

#sarcasm #readabook

[Chief Sarcasm @ChiefSarcasm]

@Nino_mbdroyalty Lol couldn't help it.

[Chief Sarcasm @ChiefSarcasm]

@Nino_mbdroyalty You sound really cool talking like that...#sarcasm #readabook #learntonotspeakindumb #smart #gotoschoolkids

[Chief Sarcasm @ChiefSarcasm]

@ArtWelton1 Understandable. I just welcome the scrutiny when they are bothered with my beliefs and our God. Definitely understandable though

[Chief Sarcasm @ChiefSarcasm]

@ArtWelton1 Why block them? Keep showing them what Gods power can do. Just cause they don't believe doesn't mean they never will. #nosarcasm

[Chief Sarcasm @ChiefSarcasm]

If you don't have anything #nice to #say, don't say it at all...unless it's the #truth.
#honesty #honest #opinion #true #nosarcasm #winning