Randy Sweatpants

Tweeting instead of talking to myself

[Jimothy @glum_and_fun]

*leaves house for first time all week*
"Hey neighbor! Woah you look like shit. Are you sick or something?"
*goes right back in house*

[Randy Sweatpants @ChillTrillBill]

I had a dream that we had school today so I skipped and laid in bed all day. So basically I'm living the dream.

[Randy Sweatpants @ChillTrillBill]

I think I'll keep this account to tweet my thoughts. No sense in trying to get more followers because that's not the point.

[Randy Sweatpants @ChillTrillBill]

Should I even keep this account going? I'll tweet more if you want. All in favor?

[Randy Sweatpants @ChillTrillBill]

The Blue Jeans remix came on my Pandora and I threw up in my mouth.

[Randy Sweatpants @ChillTrillBill]

If I am to have any credibility, I'm going to need some tits with my username drawn on them as my banner.

[Randy Sweatpants @ChillTrillBill]

Well I am just terrible at this whole twitter thing.

[Randy Sweatpants @ChillTrillBill]

Listening to EDM and writing my research paper for English. Totes gonna get an A.

[Randy Sweatpants @ChillTrillBill]

@TrapDrugs @PRAYINGFORHEAD Been following him 5evr

[Randy Sweatpants @ChillTrillBill]

"I'll have you know that I have 89 followers on twitter so you can get right out of my face, mister"

[Randy Sweatpants @ChillTrillBill]

Ass so fat she need gastric bypass.

[Randy Sweatpants @ChillTrillBill]

My girlfriend, @ArianaGrande , sang beautifully tonight in case anyone was wondering. Luh you bae.

[Randy Sweatpants @ChillTrillBill]

Well. I'm back guys. Not that you care...

[Randy Sweatpants @ChillTrillBill]

I'll start tweeting more when I feel better. Getting on my phone is just tiring.

[GHOUL @RolexOnMyDick]

Pull up to the scene with my ceiling missing

[Randy Sweatpants @ChillTrillBill]

I'm so sorry I haven't been tweeting. I've been really sick.

[anthophilas patellas @hollyberryness]

*escapes from captor's basement*
*hurries home*
*checks phone*
*zero notifications*
*returns to captor's basement*

[pat tobin @tastefactory]

There is a factory somewhere that makes googly eyes. There are guys that wake up in the morning and go to work at the googly eye factory.

[Randy Sweatpants @ChillTrillBill]

RiFF RAFF is my god damn role model.

[Randy Sweatpants @ChillTrillBill]

I spend the majority of my time on Reddit and the rest of my time on Twitter.