Chinese Mum Say

Broadcasting the daily words and wisdom direct from my very traditional Chinese mother.

[Chinese Mum Say @ChineseMumSay]

"We are still fighting the terrorist threat in Xinjiang... What? No! The Uighurs are the terrorists!"

[Chinese Mum Say @ChineseMumSay]

"Of course I don't blindly follow the Chinese government. I just can't think of anything they do wrong."

[Chinese Mum Say @ChineseMumSay]

"If Tiananmen square really happened, why is there no video footage?"

[Chinese Mum Say @ChineseMumSay]

@galileocheng Thanks for all your updates

[Chinese Mum Say @ChineseMumSay]

@taylorswift13 You will be criticised because you are opinionated and beautiful. People won't like you for that. Fuck those people.

[Chinese Mum Say @ChineseMumSay]

@Reebok @danielbartels but reebok can still pull their sponsorship of the Games. Where are your principles? #CrossfitPetition

[Chinese Mum Say @ChineseMumSay]

@Crossfit @CrossFitGames @richfroning I am a Crossfitter. I train at CrossFit Trojan. I signed the petition. #CrossfitPetition

[Chinese Mum Say @ChineseMumSay]

"Freedom of the press dwindling? Ha! More like too much freedom!"

[Chinese Mum Say @ChineseMumSay]

" If you don't earn enough money, you don't deserve any social life!"

[Chinese Mum Say @ChineseMumSay]

"By the time you are 35 you will look like a prune. I hope you will at least be rich."

[Chinese Mum Say @ChineseMumSay]

"Sometimes I can't help being so intelligent."

[Chinese Mum Say @ChineseMumSay]

"You are not paid to be happy."

[Chinese Mum Say @ChineseMumSay]

"That McPherson girl? I'll tell you, she's a slut. At 14 she was drunk and kissed a strange boy. Easy sex."

[Chinese Mum Say @ChineseMumSay]

"Son, you have a farting problem! Farting all the time! Why are you angry? What do you care if everyone can hear me? Who do you know here?"

[Chinese Mum Say @ChineseMumSay]

"My children are such a disappointment. You wouldn't even know how to handle a crisis!"

[Chinese Mum Say @ChineseMumSay]

"Men like feminine women. Look at you! Look at your muscles. Does your boyfriend LIKE this?"

[Chinese Mum Say @ChineseMumSay]

"Your dress is very short. Do not walk up the staircase or your 'Minnie Mouse' will show."

[Chinese Mum Say @ChineseMumSay]

"How does your current boyfriend compare to the other six you had? Was it six? Was it more?"

[Chinese Mum Say @ChineseMumSay]

"You must learn French. You need to know what people are saying about you."

[Chinese Mum Say @ChineseMumSay]

"Are you wearing underwear? Make sure you do."