Lord Choccington III

Vinegar Strokes Invitational Champion 19/20 & 21/22. Conspiracy theory afficionado

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

My Dad had bowel cancer and had to have a permanent bag fitted . Every few days he would release the pent up gas from it . The stench was horrific and lingering. He lost his battle 18 months after diagnosis but what I wouldn't give to smell the stench again . Miss you Dad x x x

[👉M-Û-R-Č-H👈 @TheEXECUTlONER_]

This wife has terminal cancer. Her husband, although gruff, loves her more than life itself. Today he got her the car of her dreams.

Make no mistake, that man would end worlds and galaxies for her. He’d grumble about it under his breath but he would.

The delivery, the walk and the proud smirky smile….. chef’s kiss….. this man would move mountains with his bare hands for this woman. It’s those gruff ones you want. ❤️

Many said why get her a new car if she is dying?

But wouldn’t you try to make your soulmate’s time on earth the happiest it could ever be if you knew they had only a certain amount of time left ? I would. 💔

[NO CONTEXT HUMANS @HumansNoContext]

How to check if she’s still mad

[AARONATION 👽 @AARONATION_M]

BREAKING NEWS: hair pulling is now normal as long as you're not wearing a Manchester United jersey.

Can @FA_PGMOL tell us how this is different from what Lisandro Martinez was sent off for?

Again, different rules when Man United is involved.

[𝔭𝔞𝔭𝔦𝔠𝔥𝔲𝔩𝔬! @UtdChulo]

It’s becoming increasingly clear that there’s an agenda against Manchester United in the premier league. Lisandro Martínez was sent off last week for something even less intentional, and to top it all, the same referee handled both games.

[FPL Frasier @FPLfrasier]

Monday — Red card
Saturday — No foul

United — Red card
Other teams — No foul

[Kara @UTDKarra]

Fun fact!

Paul Tierney was the referee when Antoine Semenyo’s hair was pulled no red card.

Paul Tierney was also the referee when Calvin Bassey’s hair was pulled no red card.

But when Paul Tierney officiated and Lisandro Martínez accidentally pulled Calvert hair red card!

Make it make sense 😡

[Community Notes & Violations @CNviolations]

He couldn't even believe

[Terry Flewers @terryflewers]

4 days ago a slight hair pull was a red card, The FA & PGMOL rejected the appeal and the vs first EPL game after this hair was not punished or even looked at. Vile

[Scott Saunders @__scottsaunders]

Good to see hair pulling is allowed again a few days after it was a red card incident

[Adam @AdamJoseph]

Same referee, same incident, different outcome. Lisandro Martinez is sent off, Dango Ouattara is not.

Meanwhile Manchester United have one fit centre back at Stamford Bridge, where Martinez sure would have been handy tonight.

Nice one @FA_PGMOL, consistently incompetent.

[HLTCO @HLTCO]

If people were able to legally watch 3pm kick offs in this country at a reasonable price, the market for FireSticks would drop off significantly. Everywhere else on earth, you can watch every Premier League game for a fraction of the price UK consumers are offered.

[Fred The Red @redfreddevil]

All football fans want is consistency. The sport is pathetic because of inconsistency @FA_PGMOL https://t.co/O4ekhQTpwQ

[utdreport @utdreport]

Carrick: “We should have had another penalty. It's pretty much identical. I can't quite get my head around it, it's crazy.”

[MUFC Scoop @MUFCScoop]

Michael Carrick: “We should have had another penalty. It's pretty much identical. I can't quite get my head around it, it's crazy.” #MUFC

[EPL Bible @EPLBible]

Hmmmmmm. 🧐

[Stretford Paddock @StretfordPaddck]

🔴🗣️Michael Carrick on the officiating : “There are enough people to standardise the decisions.

If one isn't a penalty, the other isn't a penalty.”

#MUFC

[Make Britain Great Again @UK_Needs_Reform]

Nobody in government wants to hear it, but this needs to be said.

UK roads are a complete national embarrassment.

We pay:

Fuel duty.

Road tax.

Council tax.

VAT on every single car repair.

Billions of pounds.

Every single year.

And in return?

Potholes the size of paddling pools.

White lines so faded they're basically suggestions.

Street lights that haven't worked since 2019.

Pavements so broken disabled people can't use them.

Last year the average UK driver spent £143 repairing pothole damage.

Tyres.

Wheels.

Suspension.

Out of your own pocket.

Because the council won't accept liability.

They never do.

How could they?

They're completely faultless, no?

You report the pothole.

They send a man with a van.

He looks at it.

He leaves.

You report it again.

Nothing.

You report it a third time.

They fill it with something that lasts until the next rainfall.

It's back within a week.

Why fix it properly when you can keep pouring money into it, literally...

But your road tax went out on the 1st.

Like clockwork.

Every. Single. Month.

Where is the money going?

Genuinely.

Where is it going?

Does anyone have a good answer???