Chris

I help build great companies.

[Chris @ChrisEssler]

72 hours until I lose a HUGE f*ng bet to myself.

[Chris @ChrisEssler]

So guys- I don’t know if you’ve heard- but the reflecting lake, they call it, next to the Lincoln monument, is actually the tallest building in the world. Nobody’s ever seen anything like it.

[Chris @ChrisEssler]

Just did a hard edit on my instagram. Consider yourself curated.

(if you're seeing this on Twitter, we need to talk about your choices)

Seriously though — glad you're here.

[Chris @ChrisEssler]

Ever try explaining a Tamago sando to your parents?

“It’s like egg salad…

[Chris @ChrisEssler]

2:47 a.m. insomnia fun fact: The hole in the ozone layer is actually healing ahead of schedule. Why? In 1987, every country on earth agreed to fix it and kept their word. All 197 nations. The only UN treaty ever ratified by every country on the planet. Ronald Reagan signed it for the US and called it 'a model of cooperation.' We know exactly how to save the planet. We've already done it once. Which is what makes this administration's 304 deliberate actions to dismantle climate policy in a single year so unforgivable. Executive orders, rule repeals, agency directives, budget cuts, withdrawals from treaties. The whole wrecking ball🪩. Reagan would be ashamed.

[Chris @ChrisEssler]

The @Patriots might want to stay put at 31 and draft a 5'4" 127 lb. publicist out of an Ivy. J.D. preferred but not necessary. Experience in damage control and managing grown men who should know better a must.

[Chris @ChrisEssler]

My dog will never know the pleasure of eating a chocolate chip cookie. So deflating. Even its mid-at-best oatmeal raisin understudy is toxically off-limits. The whole situation is a real kick in the nu... oh man. Doughboy. I'm so sorry buddy. I really am.

[Chris @ChrisEssler]

So @NESN I have a couple ideas on how to evolve the streaming offering. This isn't a sales pitch. I'm just a customer with a bit of experience in corporate and media strategy and thought I could help. Any interest in a chat? -c

[Chris @ChrisEssler]

"No man is rich enough to buy back his past." - Wilde

[Joni Askola @joni_askola]

Going to war with a country, then immediately floating the idea of lifting sanctions on its oil to prevent your own economic collapse, is the definition of strategic failure

[Shooter McGavin @ShooterMcGavin]

This Memoriam hit like a ton of bricks. So many legends lost this past year

[Chris @ChrisEssler]

Non-Alcoholism is so hot right now. https://t.co/L1FkZmFFfj

[Volcaholic 🌋 @volcaholic1]

More information about Punch, the baby monkey at Ichikawa Zoo in Japan.

He was abandoned by his mother shortly after birth and has been hand‑raised by zookeepers.

They gave him a plush orangutan toy, which he carries everywhere, hugging it while he sleeps, using it for comfort when he feels nervous, and even taking it with him as he interacts with the other monkeys.

In mid‑January, Punch was successfully introduced to a group of other macaques at the zoo, though he still stays close to his cuddly companion as he adjusts.

[Chris @ChrisEssler]

Progress! iOS 20.🥱 fixed the bug where your boarding pass would pop-up every 6 seconds for the full 48 hours before & after your flight. Unfortunately, everything else is still 100% f*cked. Plus, we’ve got a poor little Japanese monkey with a jerk mom to save. #PunchTheMonkey 🐒

[Andrew Ross Sorkin @andrewrsorkin]

Reading @SahilBloom’s book The Five Types of Wealth. The amount of time we spend with others is almost inverse to what I wish were true. Trying to think about how can I bend these curves!

[Chris @ChrisEssler]

@Valhallagrrl chess.

[EZ Rider🌻🇺🇸🦅 @EZRideryoyall]

In case you didn’t get to see it, here is the full video of Tracy Chapman and Luke Combs singing “Fast Car” at the Grammys
https://t.co/4RyBSFgjsW

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

He's done.

[Chris @ChrisEssler]

Hello @UCLAHealth I’ve reached out twice now to donate IGG antibody positive plasma and have not heard back. I want to help save lives, please get back to me. #UCLAMedical