Chris Monaghan

Zip Tie Jedi. Astros fan. Al Bundy is my role model. Oil and gas paper pusher by week, drag racing announcer by weekend.

[Chris Monaghan @ChrisMonaghan89]

@GsonJW He’s wearing a camera. Had to make himself part of the show.

[Chris Monaghan @ChrisMonaghan89]

@SpencerHakimian Reported as spam

[Chris Monaghan @ChrisMonaghan89]

@TexasDominic @AstrosKnower If we ask for Roman Anthony, they are going to mail us a shoebox full of dog turds

[Chris Monaghan @ChrisMonaghan89]

@LarryTheGMman Melton and Brito for someone who has almost the same spin rate and velocity as Gerrit Cole pre-trade, and also has 6 years of club control is a small price to pay.

[Chris Monaghan @ChrisMonaghan89]

@E26football I thought I had lost my mind for a second.

[Chris Monaghan @ChrisMonaghan89]

@SanAntonioTim He's basically Dubon with a little more pop.

[Chris Monaghan @ChrisMonaghan89]

@RogueHouSports That was black belt level stupid

[Chris Monaghan @ChrisMonaghan89]

@The_Reliant Down the River
The Jealous Kind
It Ain’t Easy Being Me

In no particular order

[Chris Monaghan @ChrisMonaghan89]

@WillKunkelV That shit always makes me laugh.

Benches: *pushing, shoving, yelling, etc.*

Relievers while jogging in next to each other: “How’s the wife and kids?” “All good buddy, growing like weeds”

[Chris Monaghan @ChrisMonaghan89]

@Yes_The_Real_Me @PitchingNinja Dude checked his swing, and his hands were literally right over the inside corner. The pitcher isn’t the one that needs to chill. Yeah it hurts like hell, but don’t bow up when you got hit by a pitch that you almost took a rip at.

[Chris Monaghan @ChrisMonaghan89]

@HtownWheelhouse @astros Hunter Brown would turn Zach Neto inside out lmao dude needs to chill.

[Chris Monaghan @ChrisMonaghan89]

@indybuckets Those were some of the most fun years. We knew we were gonna suck, but I went to more games those years than the rest of my life combined. Would always buy nosebleeds, then move down a couple of innings later. And the all you can eat seats in RF…bring those back.

[Chris Monaghan @ChrisMonaghan89]

@prodmikio @sl2111 @crazyclips_ You’ve gotta be real dense to actually believe this. If you’re driving along minding your own business and someone turns into your lane, they created the accident.

[Chris Monaghan @ChrisMonaghan89]

@sl2111 @crazyclips_ Watch the video. You can see the asshat in the car shoot on front of him at the last second before the merge. The driver in the car made a conscious decision to turn into another vehicle. He is objectively 100% in the wrong here.

[Chris Monaghan @ChrisMonaghan89]

@sl2111 @crazyclips_ Incorrect. If you drive around a line of traffic and try to cut in front of everyone else, you’re the only asshole in that scenario.

[Chris Monaghan @ChrisMonaghan89]

@TKGB11 @RichOToole I just saw this. Let’s road trip it and go get one.

[Chris Monaghan @ChrisMonaghan89]

@robncypress 83-79

[Chris Monaghan @ChrisMonaghan89]

@TKGB11 @astros No kidding. Either I’m just stupid and didn’t realize that a sub .700 OPS was considered raking, or it’s Opposite Day.

[Chris Monaghan @ChrisMonaghan89]

@BronxBmbrz You dumb motherf*ckers trying to explain how he did.

[Chris Monaghan @ChrisMonaghan89]

@PadresMatt He did a great job of making himself the center of attention. Absolutely terrible.