Chris 💊🦵🏼

semi-actual writer turned corporate hack. published on Business Insider, Salon, British GQ, Travel Channel. pumpkin spice latte adjacent.

[Chris 💊🦵🏼 @ChrisPilny]

I’m sorry but trains are gorgeous: a thread

[Chris 💊🦵🏼 @ChrisPilny]

This shit was so scary. I saw this news at like 10 at night, laying in bed. My wife was pregnant. I jumped my ass up and—after just telling my mom on the phone that it was ridiculous to even consider stockpiling food; no way we’d have a pandemic—sped to Kroger.

[Seth Oliveras  @SethOliveras]

5 years ago today: the sports world shut down, and it all started in Oklahoma City.

[Chris 💊🦵🏼 @ChrisPilny]

I debated between SLC and Washington for the ski trip this year. On the plane to Seattle right now, crying over these forecasts

[Chase Thomason @ChaseThomason]

Alta and Snowbird ended up with 23" from our latest storm. A bigger one will impact all of Utah Wednesday afternoon through Friday. A WINTER STORM WATCH is in effect for our mountains where we expect 1-3ft of snow! Totals will be highest in northern Utah and up the Cottonwoods. #utwx

[Chris 💊🦵🏼 @ChrisPilny]

@StormSkiJournal @YawgooValley Holy shit never imagined you’d hit my mountain lol

[Chris 💊🦵🏼 @ChrisPilny]

First the thousands of dolphins swimming together. Then that weird deep sea creature appearing on the shore. Now my parents are convinced the robins are plotting something in their heated bird bath this morning. Note the lookout robin at the base

[Chris 💊🦵🏼 @ChrisPilny]

It’ll get better

[Vulture @vulture]

Lorne Michaels, the ringmaster of ‘Saturday Night Live,’ is 80 years old. What happens to the show, not to mention American comedy, when he retires? https://t.co/Gfqws0Dtxp

[Chris 💊🦵🏼 @ChrisPilny]

Season is toast. Preserve UCL and gtfo

[Ben Jacobs @JacobsBen]

Arsenal expect Kai Havertz to be out until next season after tearing his hamstring during their warm-weather training in Dubai.

Havertz will undergo tests upon Arsenal’s return to the UK today to determine if he needs surgery. 🏥

[Chris 💊🦵🏼 @ChrisPilny]

@IsaacKimes Same exact thought. Kinda what I expected. We love to see it

[Chris 💊🦵🏼 @ChrisPilny]

@liftblog Which resorts?

[now.arsenal @now_arsenaI]

🚨I think Arsenal have made a move for someone tonight.

[@DarrenArsenal1]

[Chris 💊🦵🏼 @ChrisPilny]

@IsaacKimes Appreciate this tweet! More plz!

[Chris 💊🦵🏼 @ChrisPilny]

@IsaacKimes You really did crush it. My thoughts and prayers are with you. He really is the root of your problems

[Chris 💊🦵🏼 @ChrisPilny]

Taking time to consider the project

[Fabrizio Romano @FabrizioRomano]

🚨⚪️ Tottenham have presented their project to Mathys Tel and his agent with game time as key factor.

Spurs also had direct meeting with Bayern to guarantee €60m fee in case Tel decides to accept.

👀🇫🇷 Mathys needs some time to decide… with several clubs keen and in talks.

[Chris 💊🦵🏼 @ChrisPilny]

@TheDailyPOW @AltaSkiArea Oh man the 2026 top sheets. Niiiice

[Chris 💊🦵🏼 @ChrisPilny]

I’m begging you @FabrizioRomano @Arsenal @AltaSkiArea @WasatchSnow plz go to blue sky

[Chris 💊🦵🏼 @ChrisPilny]

@johnsonjoe @SalomonSports @AltaSkiArea Foof excited to see these top sheets. Love the 90s vibes between those, the bindings, and the boots

[Chris 💊🦵🏼 @ChrisPilny]

@NashSevereWx When it reaches 127 hours, we cut our feet off

[Chris 💊🦵🏼 @ChrisPilny]

@MidtownScholar @doubledaybooks @7pm @DavidGrann @IReadVintage @doubledaybooks is this part of a paperback release tour?

[Chris 💊🦵🏼 @ChrisPilny]

@IsaacKimes Divisional doink

[Chris 💊🦵🏼 @ChrisPilny]

Been waiting for arteta to make this move and thank god it paid off. Imho send it every week

[Premier League @premierleague]

Ethan Nwaneri lit up @Arsenal’s right wing in Bukayo Saka’s absence ⚡️

📊 via @Oracle