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Christa
@ChristaFalk
Dear alcohol, I love you...
Joined June 2011
475
Following
273
Followers
3.6K
Posts
ChristaFalk
retweeted
James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn
@XplodingUnicorn
almost 10 years ago
[2050] Grandchild: Why aren't there Pokemon anymore? Elderly me: We caught them. *single tear rolls down my cheek* We caught them all.
ChristaFalk
retweeted
50 Nerds of Grey
@50NerdsofGrey
over 10 years ago
She said she was turned on by dangerous men . . . so he started running with scissors.
ChristaFalk
retweeted
50 Nerds of Grey
@50NerdsofGrey
over 10 years ago
Bondage is so much easier with a nerd . . . You don't need to blindfold him, just hide his glasses.
ChristaFalk
retweeted
50 Nerds of Grey
@50NerdsofGrey
over 10 years ago
'Would you like a happy ending?' she asked, rubbing the hot oil deep into his skin. 'Oh yes!' he replied. 'OK,' she said. 'Han Solo lives.'
Who to follow
Jes
@notstate
This is where the clever bit would go...
Andi
@PnkyRght
BAAAHAAA
Lady Lawya
@Parkerlawyer
divorce lawyer | mom to a bazillion kids | https://t.co/0FDtG6xK4t | please send all dms to @funderlaw | https://t.co/t7dCbYmwgu
ChristaFalk
retweeted
50 Nerds of Grey
@50NerdsofGrey
over 10 years ago
'Say bad things to me,' she begged, 'Terrible, unforgivable things!' 'OK,' he said, 'The Force Awakens isn't as good as The Phantom Menace.'
ChristaFalk
retweeted
50 Nerds of Grey
@50NerdsofGrey
over 10 years ago
She said she was turned on by men with money but turned off by men with high IQs. So he dressed up as Donald Trump.
ChristaFalk
retweeted
50 Nerds of Grey
@50NerdsofGrey
over 10 years ago
I gently caress the leather, then my fingers feel inside and flick over and over again . . I like big books and I cannot lie.
#WorldBookDay
ChristaFalk
retweeted
50 Nerds of Grey
@50NerdsofGrey
over 10 years ago
He really enjoyed 3.14159265 in a bed . . . he was Pi-sexual.
#PiDay
ChristaFalk
retweeted
50 Nerds of Grey
@50NerdsofGrey
over 10 years ago
The latest research indicates that people who retweet more tend to have higher IQs and be better lovers . . .
#WednesdayWisdom
ChristaFalk
retweeted
50 Nerds of Grey
@50NerdsofGrey
over 10 years ago
'Smack that bottom!' she cried, bending over the table. 'Smack it hard!' 'I am' he said 'But the ketchup just won't come out'
#FridayFeeling
ChristaFalk
retweeted
50 Nerds of Grey
@50NerdsofGrey
over 10 years ago
'Punish me!' she cried desperately, 'Make me suffer like only a real man can!' 'Very well,' he replied, and left the toilet seat up . . .
ChristaFalk
retweeted
50 Nerds of Grey
@50NerdsofGrey
over 10 years ago
'It's so long!' she squealed 'I don't think it'll fit!' 'Sorry' he said 'It isn't easy saying what you want in 140 characters'
#LoveTwittter
ChristaFalk
retweeted
50 Nerds of Grey
@50NerdsofGrey
over 10 years ago
Happy
#WorldPoetryDay
! Robots are red, Mutants are blue, Tribbles are sweet, So is R2-D2.
ChristaFalk
retweeted
50 Nerds of Grey
@50NerdsofGrey
over 10 years ago
My 50 Nerds of Grey book's going well but the Twitter orgy scene needs editing. There are 140 characters and it lasts 10 years.
#LoveTwitter
ChristaFalk
retweeted
50 Nerds of Grey
@50NerdsofGrey
over 10 years ago
I may not know how to get a girlfriend but I know how to write bug-free software . . . I got 99 problems but a glitch ain't one.
ChristaFalk
retweeted
50 Nerds of Grey
@50NerdsofGrey
over 10 years ago
'Harder!' she screamed, 'Harder!' 'All right,' he said. 'What's the square root of nine times twelve divided by six point three recurring?'
ChristaFalk
retweeted
50 Nerds of Grey
@50NerdsofGrey
about 10 years ago
'Hey' she said 'When you suggested kinky superhero night you said nothing about an old man!' 'Sorry' he said 'Stan Lee insisted on a cameo.'
ChristaFalk
retweeted
50 Nerds of Grey
@50NerdsofGrey
about 10 years ago
No one puts BB-8 in the corner.
#NerdyMovieLines
ChristaFalk
retweeted
50 Nerds of Grey
@50NerdsofGrey
about 10 years ago
Making her solve difficult equations really turned him on . . . He was a sadomathochist.
ChristaFalk
retweeted
50 Nerds of Grey
@50NerdsofGrey
about 10 years ago
He was very careful during bondage sessions. He always used a safe word that contained upper and lower case letters and at least one number.
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