Chris Ayan

Chicago to Oakland | #Marketing | Husband | Father | Surfer 🏄‍♂️ 🌊| Trying and failing to understand crypto and web3 | Don’t expect me to get too deep 🧘

[Chris Ayan @ChristopherAyan]

Time for my quarterly @SouthwestAir complaint. Sale that ends at midnight apparently locks the flights at 11:45. To make matters worse the system redeemed my flight vouchers, but didn’t book the flights. Spectacular. But hey, we don’t even get 2 free bags. So that’s cool.

[Chris Ayan @ChristopherAyan]

@Jason Didn’t this happen once before? I swear it did, or I had a super realistic dream about this several years ago.

[Chris Ayan @ChristopherAyan]

@SouthwestAir It was literally at the checkout screen

[Chris Ayan @ChristopherAyan]

@Mat_Sherman Yeah, and I specialize in marketing and sales for startups, so I’ll make sure those emails make appropriate use of capitalization.

[Chris Ayan @ChristopherAyan]

@Jason Is it ranked in order of importance? Or are they each valued the same way?

[Chris Ayan @ChristopherAyan]

@ComicLoverMari @DelusionPosting

[Chris Ayan @ChristopherAyan]

Not that there is any question, but if you want to know how good @StephenKing is at writing. Explosive decompression goes through my mind on every flight I get on, and has, literally, ever since I read the Langoliers 20+ years ago.

[Chris Ayan @ChristopherAyan]

@MikeFraietta @bluesky I’d like an invite code

[Chris Ayan @ChristopherAyan]

Please join me in calling on President Biden to leverage the ocean in the fight against climate change. https://t.co/Q1ydV2gSoD

[Chris Ayan @ChristopherAyan]

I want to open a restaurant where we only serve cheese curds and gravy on top of crackers. It’s gonna be called “poutine on the ritz.”

[Chris Ayan @ChristopherAyan]

Just ran into my daughter’s pediatrician at the bar. You can tell we are both trying to be on better behavior than we would be if the other person wasn’t here.

[Chris Ayan @ChristopherAyan]

My new subversive tactic is this: if I ask someone how they’re doing and they just start listing off things they bought, I’m just going to list off groceries I bought in return. Your purchases don’t define you. Tell me why it’s important you bought something instead.

[Chris Ayan @ChristopherAyan]

@marcmaron Did he ever get those mustard slacks

[Chris Ayan @ChristopherAyan]

I think the hardest part about being married and having kids is how much more stuff there is. When I was single I moved across the country 3 times with literally a backpack and a suitcase. I now travel with more stuff just to go to the park.

[Chris Ayan @ChristopherAyan]

If you’re comfortable with this, I’m going to assume you’re comfortable with slavery too. People deserve better than to effectively be a billionaires servant who can evict them if they get fired from his company. Have we brought back feudalism? https://t.co/e0shjirC2z

[Chris Ayan @ChristopherAyan]

@Jason Last I checked, I wasn’t hired for 40 hours, I was hired to deliver results. You don’t pay me for the time it takes to push buttons, you pay me to know which buttons to push.

[Chris Ayan @ChristopherAyan]

@shahselbe You gotta point it at yourself first to calibrate it

[Chris Ayan @ChristopherAyan]

You did it @ColonBroom. You’ve figured out the perfect formula. No matter how much weight you need to lose, you can do it in 2 months!

[Chris Ayan @ChristopherAyan]

My favorite part about Harry Potter is “don’t do magic in front of muggles.” “How do we get the kids to school? We have them disappear into a wall in front of tons of muggles.”

[Chris Ayan @ChristopherAyan]

@JasonRBradwell The answer is always analytics. Analytics is always broken in some way for some reason.