Chuck E. Cheese's Mars

The official Twitter account for the first Chuck E. Cheese's on Mars! Where a Kid Can Never Leave!

(parody account)

[Chuck E. Cheese's Mars @ChuckECheeseMS]

One last thing. I'm willing to answer any questions within a twenty-four hour period starting now. So if you have any questions about me or how life was on this ship, go ahead and ask.

[Chuck E. Cheese's Mars @ChuckECheeseMS]

I think..this is the last day. On Mars, I mean. We've almost run out of oxygen, and some idiot keeps breathing through their mouth. It's..tough. I never thought I'd die like this, honestly. I wish I was more active, so that I could know you guys better. It sucks, honestly.

[Chuck E. Cheese's Mars @ChuckECheeseMS]

I think I'm gonna kill everyone in this place before we run out, including myself. A classic shotgun to the head should do it.
I'll see you guys on the flipside.

[Chuck E. Cheese's Mars @ChuckECheeseMS]

We're stuck. We're fucking stuck. Stuck on this dumbass red planet, that we're now going to die on. Fuck you, Gary.

[Chuck E. Cheese's Mars @ChuckECheeseMS]

Fuck this, I'm going home.

[Chuck E. Cheese's Mars @ChuckECheeseMS]

Unfortunately due to a recent incident, 78% of the customers have been sucked into the vacuum of space.

[Chuck E. Cheese's Mars @ChuckECheeseMS]

Can you please stay out of my office for a fucking second? I don't want to have the keep it in here.

[Chuck E. Cheese's Mars @ChuckECheeseMS]

Stay as close as possible as you can to each other.

[Chuck E. Cheese's Mars @ChuckECheeseMS]

We have run out of ingredients.

[Chuck E. Cheese's Mars @ChuckECheeseMS]

I no longer care for the safety of your children. They can burn all they want.

[Chuck E. Cheese's Mars @ChuckECheeseMS]

wait no

[Chuck E. Cheese's Mars @ChuckECheeseMS]

Feel free to leave your wife here while you have hot, ball-slapping sex with your kids, and maybe have your second honeymoon.

[Chuck E. Cheese's Mars @ChuckECheeseMS]

We're selling the xenomorph's eggs now; do what you want with them. I heard they taste good scrambled.

[Chuck E. Cheese's Mars @ChuckECheeseMS]

The xenomorph has laid eggs. I repeat, the xenomorph has laid eggs.

[Chuck E. Cheese's Mars @ChuckECheeseMS]

It's not our fault if your kid wants to play outside.

[Chuck E. Cheese's Mars @ChuckECheeseMS]

Never leave.

[Chuck E. Cheese's Mars @ChuckECheeseMS]

@SuperOOFIOBros @e_zimbabwe That's not punishment enough.

[Chuck E. Cheese's Mars @ChuckECheeseMS]

@CECinBotswana Sounds like you're saving money to me.

[Chuck E. Cheese's Mars @ChuckECheeseMS]

Remember that there is a xenomorph in the ballpit; if it catches you, there will be consequences.

[Chuck E. Cheese's Mars @ChuckECheeseMS]

Remember to keep your helmet on! This is the seventh time this week.