C A R T M A N

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ 𝔾𝔼𝕋 𝔽𝕌ℂ𝕂𝔼𝔻 𝔹𝕐 𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝕃𝕆ℕ𝔾 𝔻𝕆ℕ𝔾 𝕆𝔽 𝕁𝕌𝕊𝕋𝕀ℂ𝔼！

[C A R T M A N @ChxsenToDie]

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ＭＡＮＩＰＵＬＡＴＯＲ
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀₱ɆⱤ₴Ø₦₳Ⱡ ₱ØⱤ₮Ɽ₳Ɏ₳Ⱡ
⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀𝚘𝚏 𝙀𝙍𝙄𝘾 𝘾𝘼𝙍𝙏𝙈𝘼𝙉

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ᴍᴅɴɪ, ᴅᴅ ᴅɴᴇ
🡻🡻 【 Ｓｏｕｔｈ　Ｐａｒｋ 】 🡻🡻

[C A R T M A N @ChxsenToDie]

I’m curious.

But also, if it’s too mean you can expect to be kicked outta bed.

[‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ᝰ.ᐣ @KMUERTED]

it can go one or two ways.

[C A R T M A N @ChxsenToDie]

Is the answer actually a ‘ yes ‘ ?

[‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ᝰ.ᐣ @KMUERTED]

do you really want me to answer that.

[C A R T M A N @ChxsenToDie]

It’s because I’m big boned. If you’d rather I lay on top of you that can also be arranged.

[‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ᝰ.ᐣ @KMUERTED]

You already haunt me. You really hate sharing bed space.

[C A R T M A N @ChxsenToDie]

/ / To be fair, they both are.

Just because he lost doesn’t mean his opponent won either. She’d at least admit it was a failure, but she also got to keep her prize. So In a way that’s also a win.

[𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝘽𝘼𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙍𝘿 .ᐟ @UBASDISIM]

// Literally he’s such an idiot.

Neither him nor the Thief won it was more like a draw. they got their hits in. etc etc they both drew it out.

Kite just is stubborn he refuses to admit defeat unless he was literally knocked out of the fight.

[C A R T M A N @ChxsenToDie]

Alright James, I’ll be sure to haunt you for all the rest of your days.

[‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ᝰ.ᐣ @KMUERTED]

I’m going to use your pillow tonight to suffocate you.

( he isn’t actually he’s just being a jerk. )

[C A R T M A N @ChxsenToDie]

/ / For someone who wants him dead, he sure does a lot to make sure he’s alive. And Kyle’s just oblivious to it.

Oh you bet he’s going to do that, granted he may smack him too for trying to be humble about it.
He knows his ass didn’t win the fight.

[𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝘽𝘼𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙍𝘿 .ᐟ @UBASDISIM]

// LMAO KYLE TAKES THAT SO SERIOUS.

He calmly goes ‘ yeah my friend wants me dead ‘

and Cartman is like. ‘ i might actually choke you man. ‘

i can imagine after the meeting Cartman is forcing Kite/Kyle to tell him his injuries and show him.

[C A R T M A N @ChxsenToDie]

I never had a bad night of rest. :)

[‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ᝰ.ᐣ @KMUERTED]

Whatever helps you sleep at night.

[C A R T M A N @ChxsenToDie]

/ / Cartmans also got that weird thing going on where he doesn’t like people messing with Kyle either.

Though his excuse is only he would be the one to kill him ( which is as close as a love confession as one can get from him ) , so it could go either way.

[𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝘽𝘼𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙍𝘿 .ᐟ @UBASDISIM]

// Besides Mysterion i feel like Kite is the type to be just as self sacrificing.

I kid you not Kite / Kyle will rather get thrown off a building then see one of his friends hurting because Kyle is more diplomatic first ( ish ). but hes just as physical as anyone else.

[C A R T M A N @ChxsenToDie]

Nu-uh.

You see, me being a ‘ jerk ‘ is me being my true self. I ain’t faking shit around you guys or anyone else. So your argument is invalid.

[‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ᝰ.ᐣ @KMUERTED]

No. But i wanted to be i could be.

You are so full of shit man. Everyone knows besides me and Kyle. you are the WORST about your feelings. Hence why you are such a jerk sometimes.

[C A R T M A N @ChxsenToDie]

What are you, my dad?

Oh, you’re awful with comebacks actually. Did you know that? Besides, unlike you I am more comfortable with my emotions and feelings. I don’t hide much.

[‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ᝰ.ᐣ @KMUERTED]

I do it when i’m annoyed.

You should drink form the river you’re a part of too you know. Lord only knows the amounts of denial you have.

Lecturing me.

( He’s just being mean because he can. and he’s exhausted. But genuinely he doesn’t mean it like that. )

[C A R T M A N @ChxsenToDie]

/ / Well, I know Chaos wouldn’t hesitate to try and have them both killed, ( probably has a stronger grudge on Cartman since he definitely was one of the worst as kids to everyone ) .

So I can see something happening with a mission.

[𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝘽𝘼𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙍𝘿 .ᐟ @UBASDISIM]

// either someone has to lock them into a fucking room together or this needs to happen with someone getting hurt on a mission.

[C A R T M A N @ChxsenToDie]

You’re calling me Eric too?

I don’t see the relevance to drinking from a river.

[‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ᝰ.ᐣ @KMUERTED]

i said you should drink from it then. Eric.

[C A R T M A N @ChxsenToDie]

I’m sorry, what?

[‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ᝰ.ᐣ @KMUERTED]

…

you should drink from it then.

[C A R T M A N @ChxsenToDie]

/ / I feel everyone around them know how they actually feel about each other and are just waiting to see how long it takes them to say or actually do something.

[𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝘽𝘼𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙍𝘿 .ᐟ @UBASDISIM]

// Kyle is also just not good at reading things and i’m pretty sure everyone else wants to shake him for it.

[C A R T M A N @ChxsenToDie]

/ / And yet they’re both too stubborn to make the first move.

[𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝘽𝘼𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙍𝘿 .ᐟ @UBASDISIM]

// they need to makeout already for real it’s awful.

[C A R T M A N @ChxsenToDie]

Denial is supposed to be a river in Egypt.

Right, but when you DO find someone, I will be the first to tell you I told you so. Just saying.

[‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ᝰ.ᐣ @KMUERTED]

Yeah well. i’m over it.

( Not adding murder to their list of things. )

No way. I sleep around cause it’s fun. There’s nothing to worry about with that. I don’t need to be worrying about feelings and stuff.

[C A R T M A N @ChxsenToDie]

/ / @UBASDISIM

[C A R T M A N @ChxsenToDie]

I can’t blame you for thinking that way. You were hurt. Badly.

( I’d still kill him for it if you’d let me. )

But, I’ve seen people and their heartbreak shit a lot over the years, and I know you’ll sing a new tune once you find someone who’s actually better.

[‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ᝰ.ᐣ @KMUERTED]

I can have feelings you know. Doesn’t mean i would completely allow myself to mobility to fold them.

No i wouldn’t be. That kinda stuff never lasts. Nothing like that ever lasts. LOVE never lasts longer than someone’s attention span.

It would be a temporary page at best.

[C A R T M A N @ChxsenToDie]

You’re telling me if he didn’t turn out to be some butt fucking backstabbing traitor you wouldn’t still be cozied up with him? I don’t believe it.

No one gets that hurt for a few days if they didn’t have feelings, even if he likely literally took your heart out.

[‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ᝰ.ᐣ @KMUERTED]

Geez Cartman you act like i was actually going through with it.

( eye roll. )

momentary lapse in judgment. Just lost in my own head and game. It won’t happen again. Trust me.

I was the resident fuck boy for a reason. I like having no strings to worry about.

[C A R T M A N @ChxsenToDie]

Um-huh. And yet you ran straight into someone’s arms when you thought you had a chance.

I see right through you Keeny, keep that tough talk up but you ain’t fooling me.

[‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍ ᝰ.ᐣ @KMUERTED]

nah. not one bit.
Love just complicates things.