Clare Green

If you'll be my bodyguard, I can be your long lost pal.

[Clare Green @ClareGreen_]

"That guy was checking you out."
"Dad, he was a cashier. That's what he's paid to do."

[Sophie Vershbow @svershbow]

Whenever someone tells me they used ChatGPT

[kayce౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ @finalgirl121]

you should be able to watch a 2 hour movie without using your phone

[anoushka @addera11ange1]

guys I’m not able to take a screenshot of my spotify wrapped but it’s full of super niche underground alt critically acclaimed artists that none of you have probably ever heard of I pinky promise

[Jacob Kaplan @JacobKaplan17]

No easy way to say this, but..

just found out I'm the biggest blame fool in the jungle of Nool.

[roro, PhD @fuglibetty]

Some weekends you enter knowing you'll be participating in the main storyline. this weekend i think i'll be doing mostly b-plots & a sort of recurring celebrity guest bit

[Go To Stuff with Sav Thorpe Capizzi @savthorpecap]

It is my deepest belief that it’s your duty as an American to just like Go To Stuff. Any stuff. Art fair. Food truck festival. Weird one woman show. Ice cream store. Minor league baseball. Movies. Community is an action! It’s something you have to do! Give it a whirl!

[trevy @chillextremist]

Pipe down shawty you’re in the presence of an AMC stubs a-list member

[Clare Green @ClareGreen_]

@i_need_eggs 425

[joe bro @jbromovies]

Dune 2 in theaters today

[maybe: clare @clur19]

do you ever go over to your parent’s house and it’s so loud and chaotic and you’re like ohhhhh this is why I had a nervous breakdown

[Fara Kaufman @justfara]

So, I spoke to people getting food at a food bank and here are some things I learned from those in need:
1. Everyone donates Kraft Mac and Cheese in the box. They can rarely use it because it needs milk and butter which is hard to get from regular food banks.
2. Boxed milk is a treasure, as kids need it for cereal which they also get a lot of.
3. Everyone donates pasta sauce and spaghetti noodles.
4. They cannot eat all the awesome canned veggies and soup unless you put a can opener in too or buy pop tops.
5. Oil is a luxury but needed for Rice a-Roni which they also get a lot of.
6. Spices or salt and pepper would be a real Christmas gift.
7. Tea bags and coffee make them feel like you care.
8. Sugar and flour are treats.
9. They fawn over fresh produce donated by farmers and grocery stores.
10. Seeds are cool in Spring and Summer because growing can be easy for some.
11. They rarely get fresh meat.
12. Tuna and crackers make a good lunch.
13. Hamburger Helper goes nowhere without ground beef.
14. They get lots of peanut butter and jelly but usually not sandwich bread.
15. Butter or margarine is nice too.
16. Eggs are a real commodity.
17. Cake mix and frosting makes it possible to make a child’s birthday cake.
18. Dishwashing detergent is very expensive and is always appreciated.
19. Feminine hygiene products are a luxury and women will cry over that.
20. Everyone loves Stove Top Stuffing.

In all the years I have donated food at the Holidays, I bought what I thought they wanted, but have never asked. I am glad I did. If you are helping a Family this Christmas, maybe this can help you tailor it more. It does for me!

[eat soup @jasminericegirl]

one day in your mid 20s you will wake up with shoulder/back pain and you'll think to yourself "that's kind of random did I sleep weird or something" and then the pain will just never go away again for the rest of your life

[Clare Green @ClareGreen_]

I am convinced every time I get an oil change, they ask me slightly different questions to throw me off and make me feel stupid. Like, yes I know how to put my car in reverse, but WHY. What's the catch?? You know?

[Soup @soupinthering]

I’m so sick of doing things!! When will it end?!!!! Yesterday I did so many things then guess what! Wake up this morning and more things to do? This is a toxic cycle we need to get out!!!!

[Clare Green @ClareGreen_]

@its_just_amber I actually had a dream last night that I had 2 extra tickets and you were one of the people I brought. But alas I don't have extra tickets irl 😢 But I'm taking that as a sign that someone will bring you 🙏🙏🙏

[Pop Base @PopBase]

Taylor Swift has surprised local food banks in Arizona and Nevada with donations, which she will reportedly continue to do as she tours around the country.

“Allowing us to provide thousands of meals to families and individuals struggling with hunger.”

[Clare Green @ClareGreen_]

@MsRebeccaBlack The Babylon score

[Clare Green @ClareGreen_]

@sallydarr Getting a wisdom tooth removed. Wish me luck on this cursed day.

[ana @shivlestat]

“in another life i would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you” LIVES WERE CHANGED