Clay Jeffries

I’m tired

[Daily Noud @DailyNoud]

Ed Sheeran announces Benjamin Netanyahu as the new opener for his tour.

[Clay Jeffries @clayjeffries]

@Jaybcakes @MrsBates1960 @FilmUpdates Veep went on for 7 seasons… JLD won 6 Emmys to Smart’s 5.

[Jessica Tarlov @JessicaTarlov]

The double standard is staggering for a Twitch streamer versus a guy literally on the ballot

[Clay Jeffries @clayjeffries]

And Mexico’s gonna pay for the wall

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

Trump: "Only I can make this promise to you: If the Republicans win the House and Senate, I will issue a dividend to every adult citizen in the United States of America for $5,000"

[ella⸆⸉ 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 INDYREF2! @JakesScarfStash]

we didn’t mean DYE

[Clay Jeffries @clayjeffries]

I was sitting at a bar last night when a patron said, “well I’m gonna go drunk drive and get some pizza at Roma’s.” The bartender said, “whoa man don’t do that! Roma’s sucks! If something happens be sure and tell them you came from [bar next door]. Have a good night!”

[raina douris @RahRahRaina]

elmo. please. do not read the book he tries to give you

[Clay Jeffries @clayjeffries]

@WhatJoshTweeted This “agency” was let onto campus with a prize wheel to collect kids’ contact info, zero vetting on who had access to minors. Even then, kids with show biz experience clocked it as predatory and warned others. They “discover you,” then you had to pay $1k - 2k for a portfolio deal

[Clay Jeffries @clayjeffries]

Shout out to my high school for allowing the John Casablancas modeling agency to sit outside the cafeteria during lunch to mine students’ personal contact info in exchange for spinning a prize wheel.

[GOP Ls @GOP__Ls]

🚨 Exposé reveals that Trump’s close friend John Casablancas impregnated a minor.

Trump used to judge beauty pageants with him where the average contestant was only 15 years old.

[Harry Sisson @harryjsisson]

Who could have possibly predicted this?

[Clay Jeffries @clayjeffries]

Lindsey Graham told me just yesterday he was really looking forward to the new trump airport in Florida. Can’t believe he’ll never get to ride on DJT.

[NYTPitchbot @DougJBalloon]

The Graham Platner fiasco proves that the Democrat Party is far too tolerant of sexual predators.

by Matt Gaetz, Roy Moore, Pete Hegseth, Jim Jordan, Dennis Hastert, Blake Farenthold, Trent Franks, Herman Cain, Cory Mills, Clarence Thomas, Brett Kavanaugh, and Donald J. Trump

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

Why is it ‘cancelled’ in the U.K. but ‘canceled’ in the U.S.?

Because we gave them that L in 1776.

[Covie @covie_93]

BREAKING: Mitch McConnell's office releases photo from a very productive meeting he had earlier today with the president.

[Adam Carlson @admcrlsn]

For journalists covering the Alaska Senate race, a note on grammar in unique situations like this:

Please refer to them as “Dans Sullivan” — like you would for Attorneys General or courts-martial.

[Clay Jeffries @clayjeffries]

Don’t believe your lyin’ eyes it’s blue I tell ya

[Acyn @Acyn]

FOX: I'm here at the newly renovated reflecting pool. It's painted American flag blue. The Democrats will tell you there's green algae. There's pool guys cleaning it up. No other president would do that.

[Luke Miani @LukeMiani]

> save $15M a year by cutting a screwworm monitoring program

> screwworm outbreak almost immediately

> $1B to combat it

Government efficiency

[UltraNosk @UltraNosk]

Mulan for Americans