I can’t imagine how I survived. When I was young and the phone rang, we had no idea who was calling. If they called when no one was home, we had no idea that someone had called. https://t.co/CGQ1PGKmXu #humor#mythoughts#myblog
When I was a kid and my mother brought us somewhere to go swimming, we brought our bathing suits, a towel and maybe a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. My grandchildren came over this summer to swim in our pool and my daughter brought... https://t.co/CGQ1PGKmXu #myopinion#blog
I called a handyman to come fix a wall in our shed that was starting to rot. When he started pulling apart the wall he found carpenter ants. I don’t know why they’re called carpenter ants because they don’t seem to build anything, they just destroy it. #humor#mythoughts#myblog
Whether or not to have an abortion should be up to the mother. In biology, an organism that lives of the body of a host is called a parasite. #humorblog#mythoughts
The earth has survived meteor collisions, volcanic eruptions, ice ages, warming ages, and radiation from space. I'm not sure the earth cares about some plastic bags. #mythoughts#myopinion#plasticstraws#plasticbags
I’ve collected paperweights for years. I don’t know why, I just like them. The fact that President Bartlet on #TheWestWing also collects paperweights is merely a coincidence. Isn’t it? #mythoughts#myopinion#humor#humorblog
Massachusetts now has the toughest #gunlaws in America. They can’t be too tough. They gave concealed carry permits to me and Louise. #gunlaw#guns#mythoughts#humorblog
Yesterday I ate 228 calories for breakfast. I then went to the gym and rode the stationary bike. When I was done it said I had burned 248 calories. Someone owes me twenty calories and I want them now. #mythoughts#humor#humorblog#myopinion