FCW tryout, 2010. @RonKillings speaks to all of us. Tells his story. How he came from a music background and brought that to wrestling.
Someone raises their hand to ask, โwhat if we dont come from some other background? What if we just love wrestling and want to be wrestlers?โ
"Whatever happened to Erick Stevens?"
I quit on myself. Plain and simple.
In 2008, Gabe got fired and my career trajectory was permanently altered. ROH got a TV deal and the atmosphere, culture, and product as a whole began to change.
I went from being in a tag team with my best friend and having aspirations of ROH gold to tagging with Joey Ryan.
2025 me would have made the best of that situation and worked my ass off to prove that I was a valuable part of the roster. 2009 me decided to feel sorry for himself.
After battling depression for most of 2009, I decided I needed a distraction. In 2010 I lost a ton of weight in order to compete in bodybuilding. In October I wrestled my last shows for ROH. I had no idea at the time because I still had an active contract and I was told I was off for the next couple of shows and they'd contact me when I was going to be booked again.
They never contacted me.
I don't blame them, honestly.
By December I was in the deepest depression of my life. I was living alone, regularly binge eating, and having occasional suicidal ideations.
I saw no reason to even try to get back on the horse. In retrospect, I'm disgusted by my lack of heart. I could have stayed in shape. I could have worked local shows or other Indies. I could have worked my way back to ROH.
Instead, I quit on myself.
It all worked out, obviously. I met me wife in February of '11 and we've been together ever since. I got to do my little comeback(s) and have some fun.
One day I decided to watch my last two ROH matches, vs El Generico and vs Eddie Edwards. I'm a very harsh critic of my own work and I figured they'd be awful.
I was shocked. The guy in these matches was in incredible shape, full of energy and fire, and he was working his ass off. The matches were actually... Good?
That's when I realized I quit before I ever got the chance to realize my full potential. At that point I was 7 years in. SEVEN YEARS. I quit before every hitting double digits.
I've said before that I had no regrets about my career.
That's a lie.
It makes me sick to think what I could have accomplished if I hadn't just given up. I might have gone to Japan. I might have gone back to WWE. Hell, I might have gone to WWE.
Instead, I quit on myself. Simple as that.
The silver lining is that now I can be a cautionary tale for young wrestlers. Now I have my story to tell my kids so they don't make the same mistake I did.
It's going to be hard. You're going to have some dark periods where things look bleak. I don't care how bad it gets...
DON'T QUIT ON YOURSELF.
...the tough get goin and goin and FUCKING going!
Laugh or clown me if u want... im proud to be out here grinding & hustling and ill earn every ticket sold.
I felt GCW pride tonite in my heart.
We came from nothing. I came from nothing. I live for this shit. Bring it on.
'Because I got nothing left to lose! You can't take my teeth, they're already gone! You can't take my ear, cause that's gone too! And Terry Funk you can't take my heart, cause it's too big for you to carry!'
one time he was doing dips on a chair and the chair broke and he paused grabbed it and tossed it and said โchairs a sumbitch donโt wanna workโ and walked away