Chris Millward

Here for laughs and the odd fun fact

[Chris Millward @Cmillward13]

Being a software developer is really just wearing glasses and eating all of your snacks with chopsticks. The odd GPT prompt and git commit sprinkled in.

[Chris Millward @Cmillward13]

@jakeowen jk I love you get a tattoo w me

[Chris Millward @Cmillward13]

Mr. Krabs dressin ass... even named ur daughter Pearl

@jakeowen

[stove dialer @nickhexum311]

One of the best tweets of all time full stop

[Franklin Leonard @franklinleonard]

The greatest sports psyop I have EVER seen. Incredible. Absolutely incredible.

[Kyle 🌱 @KylePlantEmoji]

Why is Gorgeous the only thing you can be Drop-Dead. I wanna be drop-dead silly. Let my enemies crumble before me, overcome by the depths of my whimsy

[Chris Millward @Cmillward13]

She User on my Interface 'til I GUI

[Chris Millward @Cmillward13]

Just had a bartender tell me "don't be a bitch", which is easily the most wild upsell tactic I've ever seen

[cinnamon bun @notsofiacoppola]

should I get pregnant here

[Joe @popgoesjoe]

How it feels being an Olivia Rodrigo fan over the age of 25

[Chris Millward @Cmillward13]

@koolaid idk who tf gave you the green light with those paper straws, but we can't even pop these fucking things open without a knife pls revise

[kurtis conner @kurtisconner]

normalize asking bartenders if they’ve “heard any rumours lately” so they can give you a fun little side quest

[Steven Tey @steventey]

Big news: We're launching cron jobs @vercel 🤩

Easily turn any API route into a cron job with 1 line of code 🪄

[Chris Millward @Cmillward13]

If I found myself in posession of a fortune, I would simply spend it in a Gatsby-esq attempt to get Dua Lipa's attention so I could ultimately show her how perfect of a bf I would be. No idea why these idiots were messing with a space race (??)

[Chris Millward @Cmillward13]

@BenGadbois Minus 1 that's 3 quick maths

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

me: you don’t like any of my gifts

her: no! the five golden rings were nice. it’s just-

me: too many birds?

her: really bird heavy this year

[Chris Millward @Cmillward13]

Why does Taylor Swift exist on my Spotify after 2 am I don't need to fall asleep sad *every* night

[Harry Hill @veryharryhill]

Mommy can’t talk right now she’s liquidating her assets for the Eras Tour

[Cat Cardenas @catrcardenas]

it will never stop being funny to me that Meghan Trainor's love songs are about former Spy Kid Juni Cortez

[Jason Thomas @JasonThomasXL]

Gisele now joins Eli Manning and Nick Foles as the only 3 people to take a ring from Tom Brady.