Cody James

I spend more time being confused than not

[Cody James @CodyyJaames]

I'm bad with both faces and names. As soon as you leave my peripheral vision you no longer exist

[Cody James @CodyyJaames]

Out of all the donuts, the hemorrhoid donut is my least favorite

[Cody James @CodyyJaames]

I fell off the wagon of duolingo, and now im slurring my words in Spanish

[Cody James @CodyyJaames]

@Yourfriendtank @PrimeHydrate I'll e transfer you

[Cody James @CodyyJaames]

Mimes are just deaf people with face paint

[Cody James @CodyyJaames]

@Yourfriendtank Coach finna bench you for that shit

[Cody James @CodyyJaames]

Pleading insanity is legal talk for letting your intrusive thoughts win

[Cody James @CodyyJaames]

DJ Khalid looks in the mirror every morning, points at himself and says "I'm DJ Valid" as he sheds one lone tear

[Cody James @CodyyJaames]

Bangers and mash is the British version of Netflix and chill

[Cody James @CodyyJaames]

It's hard to find good labour these days, just ask any pregnant lady.

[Cody James @CodyyJaames]

@Jashopwasshh Will you share it with me?

[Cody James @CodyyJaames]

Marine Biologists are just fancy fish doctors

[Cody James @CodyyJaames]

I wonder if people that use fentanyl ever worry about it being laced with weed

[Cody James @CodyyJaames]

I got a papercut while reading a harm reduction book

[Cody James @CodyyJaames]

What you call "ghosting" I call non-verbal communication

[Cody James @CodyyJaames]

"I just spent $14 in your restaurant open up the fucking bathroom"
Sir this is a bank and your account is negative $14 please don't use our lobby as a bathroom

[Lex Fridman @lexfridman]

Obviously, these are just some select quantifiable goals. They don't matter nearly as much as friends and loved ones in my life. Love is what gives meaning to this whole thing.

[Cody James @CodyyJaames]

I decided to reduce my screen time so I got rid of the clock on my phone

[Cody James @CodyyJaames]

If I had a time machine I'd kill baby jesus cause who wants to die on a cross that shit looks like it hurts

[Cody James @CodyyJaames]

I want friends with benefits, nothing sexual but some dental and optical would be nice

[Cody James @CodyyJaames]

This is just my opinion but green playdough is probably the best flavor out there